Tiny Update

Hello! Just a quick update to let you all know that it seems I've taken a bit of an involuntary break from blogging, and I won't be back for a few days still. Last week I had a bad allergic reaction to... something, and had to go to the doctor for some oral steroids. And now I'm super bloated and grumpy and brimming with roid rage, so until that's all gone, I'm afraid I won't be in any state to pose and look cute in outfit photos.

I am always on Twitter and Instagram, though, if you want to follow the ups and downs of my horrible roid rage! x

Summer Wishlist

1. Juicy Couture sun hat
2. Forever 21 belt
3. Minkpink babydoll dress
4. NARS Satin Lip Pencil in Lodhi
5. Forever 21 necklace
6. Aldo flats

I don't do wishlists really, but I've had my eye on a few things for summer and since I couldn't be bothered to do outfit photos today, here is my cop-out wishlist post instead! Hurray! My birthday's coming up as well, hint hint, not really since none of you are within the group of people who will actually buy me presents for my birthday. Shameless birthday plug. This post has become embarrassing. The end!!

Outfit no. 64

Dress: c/o eShakti, jacket: River Island, belt: New Look, hat: H&M, boots: Aldo, earrings and necklace: F21, glasses: Ray-Ban

It's been snowing in Salt Lake. I can't decide if this excites or confuses me. It doesn't particularly annoy me, as it's a million times better than sunshine and warmth, but I do feel as though the weather had its chance to be snowy, and now it ought to focus on April showers. Even so, can't really complain; I get to keep wearing tights and warm jackets so I'm happy!

So this dress is amazing. It has a bloody duck print, guys. It was sent to me by eShakti, an online clothes shop I'd heard about before, but had never really looked into. And um you guys, they are super amazing. Their dresses are a bit expensive for me (so yay free sample to review!), but they cover a wide spectrum of sizes and -- this is the best bit -- you can have them customized to fit your body, and your taste! Which I find awesome, as often I hesitate to buy clothes online because I'm worried they won't fit. Before I had this dress customized for me, it was a below-the-knee length, and sleeveless. I had it customized to add short sleeves, and shorten the length as well. And it turned out splendidly. If I ever have to buy a nice dress for a special occasion in the future, I'll defo keep these guys in mind, as the dress fits, and it's pretty high quality. Yay duck dress!

And now I'm off to work on the outline of my new novel. Which is already over 4,000 words and it's only about halfway done. Oh dear.

Journey to Publication! Part 4: Moving On

Hello all, I know it's been a while since I did one of these posts! I felt it wasn't quite right, as nothing was really happening on that front. I'd been sending out regular batches of queries up until a couple weeks ago, but it started to feel... not right. There are 4 agents right now who've requested to read material, one of them the full manuscript, and that's wonderful. I am still hoping for a positive reply or two... but I'm not focusing on it. I'm moving on. I'm not giving up, but I'm focusing my energy elsewhere.

And here's why. I was starting to look at things the wrong way. As a writer I should be writing, and instead I was sending out queries one day a week, and spending the rest of my week refreshing my email in the hope that I'd hear back from an agent. The rejections became easier and easier, until I got to the point where a form rejection of my query didn't bother me at all. I recently received a pass from an agent after reading the first 50 pages of my novel, and it sucked, but it didn't suck for very long and it was fine. So my skin got thicker. But I was still focusing on it, and every time I didn't get an offer of representation, I felt just a little more like I wasn't doing the right thing.

Here's the thing. I love my novel. I think it's great. If I didn't, I wouldn't be sending queries to agents, would I? I do think it has a place in the market right now, and I think it has an audience. But I'm not sure it's exactly where it needs to be yet.

I know this is the novel I wanted to write. The characters, the story, some of the silly moments that I put there just for me... it's exactly how I want it, for now. I'm so proud of myself for writing it. But I don't know if it's ready, or if it's 100% the best it can be. And I'm not at the point right now where I can focus on that, because I'm actually starting to go mad thinking about it, and there is only so much feedback you can hear, so much differing and contradictory feedback, before you start questioning everything.

So I'm taking a break from sending queries. I'm not giving up by any means. I believe in my novel, and I believe it can get published, but I'm not in the right headspace right now to be putting all my energy toward that. I need to be writing, and improving, and learning. And above all, having fun. Because that's why I love to write after all -- it's fun. I love it! And the situation with my novel, where I wasn't writing but just sitting and waiting... wasn't fun at all. It was driving me fucking bonkers.

I had a talk with Greg the other night. He basically told me, Meg, what the fuck are you doing? You love to write. I have a good job and I pay for the great majority of things and you only work part time so you can write. Why aren't you writing? And I thought, why aren't I writing? So I made a lot of excuses, and I cried, but Greg was having none of it. "Just suck it up and write."

Then something clicked. It always has to click with me or I won't do it, I won't listen to advice, I won't make a change unless something clicks. And it did. I realized, not that I should be writing, but I want to be writing. I want to be creating and doing the thing that makes me happiest. I don't want to be sitting and waiting and focusing on trying to sell the book I'd already written. I can do that on the side, or in the meantime, or I can do it later. But right now I have to write.

So I'm writing! I'm working on the outline for a new novel, and while it's set in a different world and there are different characters and a different setting, it's very similar in tone. It's a little bit Steampunk meets Indiana Jones meets Jane Austen, and I hope in a good way. I've no idea if it can sell, but I don't care at this point. I know I'm going to have a ton of fun writing it, and really that's the only thing I want to focus on right now.

Outfit no. 63

Skirt and hat: H&M, shirt: F21, blazer: Old Navy (super old), bag: Primark, shoes: c/o GoJane, necklace: Zara, glasses: Ray-Ban

Hello! It's been a few days. In all honesty I just haven't had the inclination to blog, and have been more interested in wallowing in my own self-pity this week. But after a discussion with Greg (aka a lengthy scolding), I've realized that I need to be writing daily, as it's truly what keeps me happy and feeling fulfilled as a person. 

So I've had a bit of a personal breakthrough, and am working on some minor-ish revisions on my novel, and once that's done I'll start querying agents with a vengeance once again. You can only hear so many rejections before you feel like a hack. And yes, there are multiple agents reading my manuscript at the moment, but that doesn't mean they'll love it. It's a very difficult, soul-crushing, terrible business, shopping your novel! Oh well, I'm surviving, and hopefully all of this will lead to something good.

Anyway, outfit! I wore this to go for a latte and a cheeky shop at Fashion Place Mall, because they have a Sephora. I've recently become interested in makeup, which I never was before, and last weekend I spent a ridiculous amount of money on some simple basics at Sephora. Well I decided that I needed to try a couple things from Clinique that I'd been seeing around on blogs and such, so I picked up their Almost Lipstick in Black Honey today, as well as one of their Chubby Sticks for eyes in Ample Amber (although I had to get that at Nordstrom, as they were sold out at Sephora!). I'm in love with both already. I've been trying to find the right everyday lip color, and while I have a few that I love, I feel like they're a bit too crazy for work, so I usually put them on after, or just wear them on the weekends. This Almost Lipstick seems like a pretty good match to what I had in mind for day-to-day lip color, and I'm super excited! I'd do a review of it or something, but I'm such a newcomer to makeup and I fear I'd just muck it up.

What makeup do you guys swear by? Is there a new thing you'd like to try, or are you committed to your look? I'm curious to hear from other girls about their makeup because I'm still like "what the fuck is primer and why do I need it." Honestly what is primer and why do I need it?

Outfit no. 62

Dress: Cotton On, cardi and blazer: H&M, necklace: F21, shoes: Payless, glasses: Ray-Ban

Before you go scolding me on the horrible backdrop and image quality on these photos, let me explain: I was lazy. And in a bad mood. And also it's cold outside. All of this conspired to make me take these photos as fast as possible without having to go out on the balcony. Since the chimney cleaners (Victorian street urchins, I imagine) came today while we were at work, we had to move all the furniture and things away from the fireplace. So I had a bit of room in which to be lazy and take indoor outfit photos. I dunno I am just really not feeling it today, guys! I'm gonna watch Doctor Who and Game of Thrones and drink a beer or something. I haven't energy for anything else.

But tonight Kenna and I are going to a Q&A at the University of Utah with ZACHARY QUINTO!! No we aren't going with him (I wish), the Q&A is with him. I hope there will be an opportunity for me to get a photo with him or something, because you know me, I love a good celebrity stalking opportunity! Even so, it's gonna be awesome and maybe he will talk about Benedict Cumberbatch you never know. >__>

What have I got in my bag?

Just a quick update to be all like, "Hey! Do you want to know what's in my bag?" Probably you don't. But you should pop over to Fashion Utah anyway, just to humor me, and read my guest post for Fan Friday (which was yesterday, I apologize for the delay). I had a lot of fun trying to artistically arrange a bunch of boring items for the photo. Enjoyyy!

Outfit no. 61

Skirt: H&M, t-shirt: Skreened, blouse (worn under t-shirt): Primark, necklace and jacket: F21, shoes: c/o Oasap, belt: vintage (via Etsy), glasses: Ray-Ban

Holy moly. I am so tired. I'm not sure what it is, but I've been sleeping terribly this week! It must have something to do with the super creepy cats that come out on the roof and peer into our third-floor window in the middle of the night, their cat-shapes silhouetted against the opposite wall. So, so creepy. I really don't like cats. They are always creepin' about, waking me up, freaking Lyall out. Etc. ANYWAY I am absolutely exhausted today, and I was yesterday, and it looks like I'll probably be the same tomorrow. Thank god for caffeine, I guess? I'm utterly useless and have nothing worthwhile to say today, it seems.

I'm a bit sad because the lettering on my awesome SG-1 shirt faded in the wash. I should have known to turn it inside-out! Ugh! Oh well, it's still legible and that's all that matters. I'm also a big fan of this belt that I ordered from Etsy a while ago, although I think I need to make an extra hole for it as it's a tad too big. And it was the smallest one I could find on there. What gives, vintage belts?

And now Lyall has lost his favorite toy under the couch for the third time this afternoon, so I must take my leave and go retrieve it for him.

Outfit no. 60

Skirt and necklace: F21, Belt and shirt: H&M, sweater: Old Navy, shoes: c/o GoJane, bag: New Look, sunglasses: Ralph Lauren

Today's outfit is a bit different than usual, I suppose, in that I'm wearing a bag. And I've got earphones in. And I'm wearing sunglasses. Wacky! This is because I walked to the leasing office to pay rent, and was listening to The National, and I didn't want to stop listening and it was basically just easier to go straight from my walk to standing on the balcony without removing my bag or earphones. Cool story bro. :(

But yeah, I really like this bag! I ordered it from New Look in London, because I saw it online and couldn't find it in stores and I needed it. It's my go-to bag when I'm not going to or from work, in which case I have a bigger bag that fits all my stupid work junk (i.e. food).

Back to the music, though. I've been listening to almost nothing but The National lately, and I'm kind of obsessed. I've had their most recent album for a while, and I love it, but then I started listening to it over and over again and I sort of figured, I ought to listen to their other albums. So I did. And I can't get enough. You'll find I typically listen to rather depressing music, and if not depressing at least vaguely melancholy, so when I'm getting all pumped up about life I'll play a lively jam like "Sorrow" or "Terrible Love" and think about how beautiful everything is. I'm the worst.

Seriously though this song is amazing. I don't know what it's about but it is perfect. Look at how awkward he is. Look at him stand in the window wearing a waistcoat. So good.

Now I will go and read Clockwork Prince, because I finally got my ass to Barnes & Noble for the paperback version! Super excited for some Will/Tess snogging! I hope. There better be snogging or I'm lodging a complaint.

Outfit no. 59

Dress: Target, jacket: F21, boots: Aldo, bracelet: gift from Dad, earrings: Topshop, glasses: Ray-Ban

My post is a bit later than usual today because I had to watch Game of Thrones before doing anything else. It's obviously a number one priority. AND IT WAS AMAZING. Oh, Ser Jorah! Littlefinger, my smarmy love... All my favorite questionably moral characters in one place! I am so happy my show is back again, and I can't wait to see who else loses a nipple in upcoming episodes.

But let's not forget Doctor Who! Did all you Who fans like Saturday's episode? I'm already a fan of Clara, although I admit I was kind of smitten from the very beginning. I may have ordered this jacket from Forever21 in London for the sole reason that it reminded me of Clara's jacket from the promo photos. No regrets.

AAAND if that isn't enough fangirl fodder for you (it never is for me), today the new City of Bones trailer is released! I CAN'T BLOODY WAIT. I'm going to die of excitement before this movie ever comes out. I might have to fly to Denver just so I can see it with Shaun or something, because I feel like nobody in Salt Lake has read it and I need an RL friend to go with so we can ugly sob over Jamie Campbell Bower's face.

Sometimes my blog is just a place where I say fangirl things on the internet. I'm sorry.

Um, outfit things I guess: I won this super adorable donut pin, as well as a bunch of amazing art and hand painted jewelry, from Michelle's giveaway on her blog, Creature Type! She's a really incredible artist with fun style, and I love her blog. I was so flipping happy when I won the giveaway; I now have fun prints to hang up around the house! And amazing pins to wear! Anyway yeah, go look at her blog and stuff because I like it.

I'm gonna go reblog Game of Thrones and Doctor Who things on Tumblr now and quietly weep fangirl tears until the City of Bones trailer comes out. Why can't I hold all these feels?