OMFG Hawke

Ugh look at this sexy jerk like who do you even think you are, Hawke.

Okay you guys, I'm having a fangirl meltdown over here. If you're a BioWare fan and not living under a rock, you've probably (hopefully) been peeing yourself a lot lately in anticipation of Dragon Age: Inquisition. Perhaps you have even been enduring a steady stream of pee in your britches ever since the first trailer came out? I know I certainly have. Well, today at Gamescom 2014 (I didn't know this convention[?] even existed until this morning), they released more gameplay footage from DA:I and a new gameplay trailer, which usually I'm kinda like, meh, I prefer cinematic trailers to gameplay ones because the characters always look sexier? Whatever. Anyway my pants were already soiled from the excitement of simply hearing that new DA:I info was afoot, so I figured I'd better watch the gameplay trailer on my phone while I ate lunch in the break room, just 'cause.

So I watched it.

And guess fucking WHAT, guys. GUESS WHAT. Not only is Morrigan in there, not only is your grey warden (supposedly) in there, but HAWKE IS IN THERE.

HAWKE.

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH WHAT EXCITING NEWS THIS IS YOU GUYS.

I am really fucking excited about this you guys. It was kind of embarrassing how much I flipped out in the break room in front of multiple coworkers, though. I lost it. I had a minor stroke and/or lost consciousness for a split second in between bites of sad salad. Because Hawke. Fucking HAWKE.

First, just watch this fucking thing:

Did you see Hawke at 1:35?? Did you? 

Bask in it. Bask in femHawke in her sassy glory.

Good. Did you bask? Okay. So. I'm not sure if all of you know the relationship I have with Dragon Age 2. Probably not? DA2 is the reason I love console gaming, essentially. It's 100% the reason I discovered and fell in love with BioWare, which is a huge deal because every BioWare game I've played has meant a lot to me. I played DA2 before Dragon Age: Origins because I'm a terrible person and didn't care about anything about the game except for romancing Fenris. However, I quickly fell in (deep deep) love with the protagonist, Garrett Hawke, aka Sassy Hawke because he's so damn sassy. 

And honestly? Until Commander Shepard, Hawke was my man. My favorite video game character, nearly tied with Alistair but just winning out over the babely templar. So, long story long, I love Hawke. I love love looooooove Hawke. I've played DA2 five times now (it doesn't even sound like that many when I write it down, what a lame fan I am), and it doesn't get old. Hawke's stupid sarcastic dialogue, his relationships with his friends, and his quips about boneless women flopping through the streets of Kirkwall (what a jerk) just win over my sad little pitter-pattering heart every time. 

So I was really really hoping that we'd get to hear even a tiny bit about Hawke in DA:I, but I wasn't going to get my hopes up or anything. I would've been happy with a little plaque somewhere that read, like, "Here is the mine where Hawke and friends saved everyone from dragons, repeatedly, at least different five times. In memoriam," or something, BUT NOW! But now we have confirmation that Hawke is indeed going to be in the game, however briefly! And it has 100% completely MADE MY DAY.

Also I'm assuming that the dude in the trailer next to femHawke is the Grey Warden from DA:O, which would be amazeballs if they allow you to import saved games, or at least use Dragon Age Keep to set the stage for DA:I -- allowing you to make the major decisions in the first two games (not unlike the Genesis DLCs for Mass Effect 2 and 3) -- which had better get its shit together and officially launch so I can do whatever it is I'm supposed to do with it before DA:I is released. That was a really long sentence. BUT SERIOUSLY, can you imagine your DA:I inquisitor, some badass Qunari mage or whatever, joining forces with the Hero of Ferelden and the Champion of Kirkwall???! I CAN'T IMAGINE IT BECAUSE IT'S TOO FUCKING AWESOME. What if Hawke makes sassy remarks? Oh god what if Alistair shows up?? What if he's with your Grey Warden if you two hooked up? What if Hawke is with his boyfriend Fenris because they've been traveling the world kicking ass and taking names together!!?? WHAT IF.

Fml I can't take it anymore, being a fangirl is too stressful. This is why approximately 15% of my hair is grey. I'm just really really worked up about this. And the damn game doesn't even come out until November. NOVEMBER, for christ's sake!