Best Saturday

Today has been the best Saturday.

Earlier this week I was feeling really sad and empty and I was terrified that depression had come back in full force, but instead I'm pretty sure I was just PMSing. Although I always say that and am never sure, because with my IUD I never have any clue when I'm supposedly on my period, but I feel a billion times better today than I did a few days ago. So yay! Also I slept for 14 hours last night so maybe that's part of it.

Regardless, today has been the best. I woke up at noon and made pancakes, touched up my roots (which I had let grow in way too much), went grocery shopping, and promptly read this fucking beautiful work of fiction, which has ruined my entire life. It's Cullen/female Trevelyan, so if that's your bag... read it. That's an order.

Like I said, best Saturday.

Now I'm going to eat some Amy's frozen pizza and gaze wistfully into the middle distance.

And by that I mean I'm going to play DA:I and kiss Cullen 500 times in a row.

BYYYYE

Too Many Inquisition Feels

If you play video games, or even if you don't and you just like to think about video games (I don't know, someone might??), then you've probably thought about what your ideal video game would be like. I know I think about it a lot! Mass Effect is my favorite video game series and probably one of my favorite stories of all time. But it's missing something. It's perfect, I mean I would never change it and it's an experience I will never forget, but let's be real. There are no blonde templars in Mass Effect. And there are no masquerade balls or castles or bards in taverns playing songs about your adventures.

And all of that is in Dragon Age: Inquisition, which IF YOU'VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK is BioWare's latest installment in the Dragon Age series, and came out last Tuesday. So naturally I've done nothing with my life since then but play it. BECAUSE IT IS PERFECT.

This isn't going to be a review, because I'm only about 45 hours into the game and nowhere near finished, but I just have to write about it because it's swallowing me whole and I need to express my feels before I explode. I'm still not even sure this game is real, that's how good it is. I started playing when I was in the throes of a cold, so I was all delirious and kept thinking, "Is this really happening?? Is this game really this good?!" Yes. It is real! Unless I'm dreaming right now!

Just. This world is enveloping me so completely it's as real to me as ~real life~. It's open world, so you can pretty much explore wherever you want in a zone, unless there's a big ol' mountain in your way, or a dragon that you're too scared to try to fight ("run awayyy!"). That means it feels more like you're truly existing in a fully realized world that's there whether or not you have a quest to finish in the area. As you wander you find letters, chapters from books, and various bits of history or stories or personal anecdotes that add so much more depth to the setting. I'm constantly learning more about the world of Thedas, and losing myself in it is so easy.

The characters are just as real and complex as the setting, and I love every single one of them so much. Except for Solas. He's a big giant jerkface and I am aggressively not doing any of his stupid personal quests. Go to the Hinterlands yourself, Solas, if it's so important! Cullen, though. And Josephine (Leliana calls her "Josie", kill me). And CASSANDRA can we talk about Cassie because she is the tank of my dreams and one of my favorite characters of all time even though I hated her in Dragon Age 2. And I can't say enough about Varric, who writes erotic friend fiction, and Vivienne calling you "my dear" and Dorian's fucking mustache, and the Iron Bull's whole crew, and SERA'S PRANKS, I just can't with any of these people! I would fight and die for them without blinking an eye. Leading an inquisition is so much easier when surrounded by a whole buncha lovable badasses.

There are still so many things I want to write but I don't want to spoil anyone, so I won't go into much more detail. I'm just... I'm so in love with this game and I'm not even done! This despite the fact that my heart was broken last night during one of the quests. I won't say why, but BioWare... I hate you. You are a pile of masochistic jerks. There was a choice I had to make, and it was so awful and heart-wrenching I literally had a panic attack. Like, I started hyperventilating and my hands went numb and started doing that clenchy thing lol so I breathed into a pillow until I "calmed down", which meant I still kept sobbing uncontrollably but at least my hands were working? Thank god for my friends, who were there through all of it, talking me down and reminding me that it would all be okay. Eventually.

Let's be real though, BioWare is the best thing to ever happen to gaming. Thank you for being so wonderful, you pile of masochistic jerks.

Sexual Orientation: Garrus Vakarian

"Some women find facial scars attractive."

Welcome to my blog! Where I write entire posts dedicated to video game aliens who I find attractive! You're welcome. Today I would like to explain to you, dear readers, why I find Garrus Vakarian (from Mass Effect, obviously) to be so goddamn sexy. Like, so sexy. So sexy I'm not as attracted to human men anymore now?? YOU GUYS HELP ME my life is a shambles.

Whatever, what's the point of living if you can't be sexually attracted to a turian at least once in your life, amirite!!? Ahahaha... haa.

Moving along. Garrus is Commander Shepard's turian bestie and, if you're not a loser and romancing someone else, her boyfriend. The best boyfriend. He sticks with her through all three Mass Effect games, and in ME2 gets some wicked hawt facial scars (as seen above). He knows they're hot, too. And he knows Shepard is into that. Plus he's supportive and fun and badass and takes her bottle-shooting on top of the goddamn Presidium, so what's not to love?

If you're still having trouble finding reasons to love Garrus, here. Read this handy list I just made! (Note: I refer to Shepard as "you" because she is you and you are Shepard.)

Reasons to Love Garrus Vakarian:

1. His voice for the love of god. His voice. It's all deep and gravelly but also sarcastic and just a little bit bad boy and kill me please. Here's a video of nothing but Garrus dialogue.



2. He doesn't give a shit if you push people out of very high windows to their deaths. Kaidan Alenko gets butthurt if you so much as look at him while wielding a gun, but you can literally shove a dude out of a skyscraper window for no good reason and Garrus will not bat an eye. He'll just be like, "Yeah okay, Shepard. Go right ahead with that." And still bring you wine and attempt cheesy pick-up lines later! He accepts you as you are. What a man turian.

3. He watches how-to videos on turian/human relations. I can't stress this enough. He watches how-to videos on turian/human relations. He's basically sitting down in the main battery between calibration sessions, watching youtube videos of how to make sexy times with the captain. He also attempts valiantly to do things that the vids tell him the ladies will like. And then he says to you that he learned it in vids. He doesn't give a single fuck! He just straight owns that he has no idea how to date a human let alone a living thing, and his awkward charm is disarming as FUCK okay.

4. This fucking song. Go listen to it now. Somebody made a stupid fucking thing with Garrus dialogue from ME2 over electronic shit and I don't ever listen to this on repeat for hours at a time. Never.

5. He calls himself your boyfriend. And he calls you his girlfriend. And the fact that Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel, renowned badass and uniter of the goddamn galaxy, can simply be somebody's girlfriend is just... it makes me really really happy, okay. The fact that Garrus feels so comfortable around you that he casually calls you his girlfriend (while checking out your ass in a tight dress) is just the most painfully sweet thing I can think of in the universe right now. FML.

6. He wants to be a goddamn dad. I can't elaborate on this or I'll fucking cry but he wants to be a dad.

7. He's a huge badass. When you first meet him he's basically working as a fucking space mall cop, but he's one of the only people (turians?) who agrees with you that Saren (a turian Spectre and murdering jerk) has gone rogue. So he joins you so you guys can kick ass and take names together. And then when you meet up with him a second time in ME2, he's known by the nickname Archangel and is such a goddamn badass that every mercenary group and criminal on a space station that is chalk-full of mercenaries and criminals wants him dead but can't kill him. Why? Because he's just moseying here and there, dispensing vigilante justice willy-nilly like a TOTAL BOSS. No big. Then he gets shot by a fucking rocket and survives. Ain't no thang.

8. HE ROLEPLAYS WITH YOU ON A DATE. He literally pretends he's just meeting you at a bar because you asked him to and then he hits on you awkwardly and tells you how great his voice is. Yes, yes please tell me more, Garrus. I mean, stranger. And then he reveals that he's learned the goddamn tango and dances with you in a bar in space, I mean can we please talk about this. He roleplays with you and then tangos with you after taking dance lessons on the side, which he somehow managed to fit in while rallying the various fleets of the entire galaxy to join with Earth to defeat a race of beings that were created solely to destroy all of life as we know it. I mean look! Look at all the effort he's putting in! Look at it.

9. Whenever you make a headshot, he sometimes says "Im-pressive!" And it's just the highlight of my day every time.

10. He'll be there whenever you need him. In the Shadow Broker's dossier on Garrus, it says that he has great leadership potential, but that he's likely to be overshadowed by Shepard's badassery. Which is just painful, because Garrus probably knows it, and Shepard is too obtuse to realize it, and Garrus sticks with you anyway. Because he's loyal and he loves you. He chooses you over his career and it breaks my goddamn heart. Fuck this guy for real.

"Lucky for you, Archangel's your boyfriend."

If all of this doesn't make you wanna take this turian to the boneyard right the fuck now, there's something terribly wrong with you.

OMFG Hawke

Ugh look at this sexy jerk like who do you even think you are, Hawke.

Okay you guys, I'm having a fangirl meltdown over here. If you're a BioWare fan and not living under a rock, you've probably (hopefully) been peeing yourself a lot lately in anticipation of Dragon Age: Inquisition. Perhaps you have even been enduring a steady stream of pee in your britches ever since the first trailer came out? I know I certainly have. Well, today at Gamescom 2014 (I didn't know this convention[?] even existed until this morning), they released more gameplay footage from DA:I and a new gameplay trailer, which usually I'm kinda like, meh, I prefer cinematic trailers to gameplay ones because the characters always look sexier? Whatever. Anyway my pants were already soiled from the excitement of simply hearing that new DA:I info was afoot, so I figured I'd better watch the gameplay trailer on my phone while I ate lunch in the break room, just 'cause.

So I watched it.

And guess fucking WHAT, guys. GUESS WHAT. Not only is Morrigan in there, not only is your grey warden (supposedly) in there, but HAWKE IS IN THERE.

HAWKE.

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH WHAT EXCITING NEWS THIS IS YOU GUYS.

I am really fucking excited about this you guys. It was kind of embarrassing how much I flipped out in the break room in front of multiple coworkers, though. I lost it. I had a minor stroke and/or lost consciousness for a split second in between bites of sad salad. Because Hawke. Fucking HAWKE.

First, just watch this fucking thing:

Did you see Hawke at 1:35?? Did you? 

Bask in it. Bask in femHawke in her sassy glory.

Good. Did you bask? Okay. So. I'm not sure if all of you know the relationship I have with Dragon Age 2. Probably not? DA2 is the reason I love console gaming, essentially. It's 100% the reason I discovered and fell in love with BioWare, which is a huge deal because every BioWare game I've played has meant a lot to me. I played DA2 before Dragon Age: Origins because I'm a terrible person and didn't care about anything about the game except for romancing Fenris. However, I quickly fell in (deep deep) love with the protagonist, Garrett Hawke, aka Sassy Hawke because he's so damn sassy. 

And honestly? Until Commander Shepard, Hawke was my man. My favorite video game character, nearly tied with Alistair but just winning out over the babely templar. So, long story long, I love Hawke. I love love looooooove Hawke. I've played DA2 five times now (it doesn't even sound like that many when I write it down, what a lame fan I am), and it doesn't get old. Hawke's stupid sarcastic dialogue, his relationships with his friends, and his quips about boneless women flopping through the streets of Kirkwall (what a jerk) just win over my sad little pitter-pattering heart every time. 

So I was really really hoping that we'd get to hear even a tiny bit about Hawke in DA:I, but I wasn't going to get my hopes up or anything. I would've been happy with a little plaque somewhere that read, like, "Here is the mine where Hawke and friends saved everyone from dragons, repeatedly, at least different five times. In memoriam," or something, BUT NOW! But now we have confirmation that Hawke is indeed going to be in the game, however briefly! And it has 100% completely MADE MY DAY.

Also I'm assuming that the dude in the trailer next to femHawke is the Grey Warden from DA:O, which would be amazeballs if they allow you to import saved games, or at least use Dragon Age Keep to set the stage for DA:I -- allowing you to make the major decisions in the first two games (not unlike the Genesis DLCs for Mass Effect 2 and 3) -- which had better get its shit together and officially launch so I can do whatever it is I'm supposed to do with it before DA:I is released. That was a really long sentence. BUT SERIOUSLY, can you imagine your DA:I inquisitor, some badass Qunari mage or whatever, joining forces with the Hero of Ferelden and the Champion of Kirkwall???! I CAN'T IMAGINE IT BECAUSE IT'S TOO FUCKING AWESOME. What if Hawke makes sassy remarks? Oh god what if Alistair shows up?? What if he's with your Grey Warden if you two hooked up? What if Hawke is with his boyfriend Fenris because they've been traveling the world kicking ass and taking names together!!?? WHAT IF.

Fml I can't take it anymore, being a fangirl is too stressful. This is why approximately 15% of my hair is grey. I'm just really really worked up about this. And the damn game doesn't even come out until November. NOVEMBER, for christ's sake!

Emerald City Comicon

So if you follow me on any social media you'll know that Megan and I went to Emerald City Comicon yesterday! And if you know me at all you'll know that pretty much my favorite thing to do in life is go to cons. My very first one was PAX Prime 2010, and ever since then I've got the bug. I love being around huge crowds of like-minded people; it's one of life's most gratifying experiences. Renaissance faires are awesome for the same reasons, but cons... they're better.

Megan had never been to a comic con before, and it was so fun going along with her to her first! She wore a pair of amazing TARDIS leggings and I wore my doge Game of Thrones mashup t-shirt, and we wandered around the expo hall, saw some panels, and people-watched. People-watching is one of my favorite things at cons. Our favorite cosplay that we saw was Steampunk Belle, but sadly we didn't get a photo, and I can't find any anywhere! Someone help, if you see it on the interwebs, send me a link! I did get a photo of an awesome Loki cosplay, though, and there was a TARDIS so obviously we had to wait in line to get a photo with it. 

The highlight of the convention for me, by far, was getting to meet one of my favorite artists, Jakface. I had no idea she was gonna be there (because I am oblivious to everything around me most of the time), so stumbling upon her booth in Artist Alley was the BEST. I bought her Dragon Age Man-Calendar (which is exactly what it sounds like) years ago, and I'm obsessed with her art and a total fangirl. I got so flustered meeting her, but she was super sweet and friendly and I was totally star struck. I probably would have spent all of my money just on her art if I had no self-control. I ended up buying her GAMEboys calendar (which you can buy here), and this print of Alistair from Dragon Age, which combines Art Nouveau and my favorite video game boyfriend, so obviously it's my new favorite thing of all time!! I'm gonna get it properly framed and everything!

Other highlights included: Karl Urban's panel, ugh so hot; a dude wearing the same shirt as me and telling me I wore it better; seeing Noelle Stevenson and being too terrified to approach her booth because she is so awesome; shirtless buff dude in Dragon Ball Z cosplay; everyone cosplaying as any character from Assassin's Creed; Newt/Hermann cosplayers; running into two friends by chance on the expo hall; and the poop emoji pillow, WHICH I DID NOT BUY, whyyyy?

I'm a little bit disappointed that we didn't plan on attending the con for all three days, but I feel like I would have been way more into it than Megan, and she would have grown to hate me by the end. Next year, though, all three days for sure! And I still have Denver Comic Con coming up in June, which I am so excited about I can't even!

And now have a pic of Megan and me at Ramen Man, where we went for dinner with her sisters after the convention. It was a fun-, geek-, and food-filled day of awesome! And the time I got to spend with two of her sisters (which wasn't very much, unfortunately) was really great. 

And that is it from me, because I get to wake up at 4:30 tomorrow morning and go to work after an entire weekend of not catching up on any sleep, oh boy! That's gonna be fun. And by fun I mean absolute torture. Totally worth it though. Totally worth it.

Science Boyfriends

"Hey Meg what've you been up to recen--" SHUT UP SCIENCE BOYFRIENDS.

Is basically what's been going on.

Okay I've been pretty stressed lately, what with still not being settled in, having a ton of piled up expenses waiting for a paycheck before I can take care of them, not enough time in the day, new job(s), etc. So I feel like all I've done lately is go to work, drive around Beaverton with no idea where I'm going or how I got there, and sleep. I mean today I had a fucking Snickers for dinner. It's all I've had the energy or time for. So gross what's wrong with me. Anyway, when I'm really stressed out and buzzing like a little ball of anxiety, it helps if I have something stupid and comforting to fixate on. Something that I can look forward to all day, something to wind down with after work, something that makes me happy and full of fangirl glee, preferably. And that's where Science Boyfriends come in! Yep, I am full-on obsessed with the scientists from Pacific Rim and how in love with each other they are. It's the reason I'm living right now, basically. (That and Lyall, but he's just a silly dog.) As usual I'm super lazy and can't find my own fic like a normal person, so thank you Lily for hooking me up like the amazing slashfic dealer that you are. Enabler.

Anyway I really want to write a long essay about how perfect Pacific Rim is, and how Newt Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb's love is beyond mere words, but... I'm too tired. So let me just summarize it for you: Pacific Rim is the best movie of the year, hands down, it is on par with Thor and if you choose not to watch it I just don't know what's wrong with you and you can probably just give up on your life now. Also, these two scientists are TOTALLY banging each other!!!

The end good night.

London Geekery

I really should be working on the second draft of my novel (I feel like I've made no headway after weeks of working on it uuurgh),  but instead I'm gonna get this blog post out of my head to make room for more Duke/Cecily UST moments.

I already made a post about some of my favorite moments from living in London, but a lot of the best memories were left out because they've been waiting for this post -- my favorite geeky moments in the UK! Yeah okay most of my life is a series of geeky moments, but these are the super cool ones okay. As a fangirl, I have to say, moving to London was a really good idea in terms of meeting famous British hotties, seeing my favorite musicians live, and basically having an amazingly geeky time.

In no particular order:

The Olivier Awards. This was perhaps one of the coolest things Shaun and I did in London, partly because it was utterly unplanned. Shaun managed to win tickets to the awards show on twitter, about 2 days in advance. We were way up in the balcony about a thousands miles from the stage, but what an amazing experience! We got to walk the red carpet, drink free champagne at the interval, and I had an actual conversation with Harry Lloyd. Total highlight of my year! (You can read my lengthy post about the Olivier Awards here.)

The European premiere of Avengers Assemble! Shaun and I met up with a bunch of internet friends and wore matching Team Loki shirts. Basically the dorkiest, most fun film premiere ever. (You can see more pics from the premiere and read more about my fangirl obsession with Loki here!)

Meeting Gail Carriger at the Steampunk Soiree at Foyle's. I'd only read her book Soulless at this point, but I was already a huge fan. Gail Carriger is my literary hero, and the kind of author I strive to be. She's funny, she wears steampunk outfits to her signings, and there was tea and cake. Can you think of anything more awesome? (Full post about the Steampunk Soiree here.)

MARK GATISS AGAIN!

Possibly the BEST geeky/fandom moment in my life, EVER, was going to the Sherlock screening at the BFI, in advance of the series 2 release. We got to meet the cast and crew, not to mention see "A Scandal in Belgravia" weeks early, and seriously LOOK IT'S BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH IT DOESN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS GUYS. (Full post heeeere!)

Going to MCM Expo and meeting Gideon Emery and Adam Howden, the voices of two of my very favorite video game characters, Fenris and Anders from Dragon Age 2! It was so great, they signed photos of their characters. Fangirl squee! (Read my post about the MCM Expo here.)

Meeting David Tennant at the Entertainment Media Expo! This was such a crazy day; I woke up at noon, saw on facebook that David Tennant was doing a signing at a convention in London, and went to full-on crazed fangirl mode for the rest of the day. Spent way too much money on an autograph, but hey DAVID TENNANT LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "HERE YA GO" AND HANDED ME THE SIGNED PHOTO, I can basically die happy. (Lengthy and spazzy post about the whole day can be read here!)

Game of Thrones related fangirling at London Film and Comic Con! I did not make a full post about this, because I'm really goddamn lazy, but I mean look at these photos, this is all you need. Shaun and I had our pictures taken on the Iron Throne, and Shaun met Iain Glen (I was too cheap to pay for an autograph but I took many creepy photos from the sidelines). KHALEEESIIII! I also had my picture taken with a British Boba Fett, Chris Judge as Teal'c, and found some really cool Dragon Age cosplayers. It was a good day!

Okay this one doesn't have a pic to go with it, but it's arguably my very favorite geeky/fangirl moment in London. Shaun, Lucy, and I had just gotten out of a concert to see one of my fave artists, Lights, and were heading to the coat check when I thought I recognized Allen Leech, the chauffeur Branson from Downton Abbey standing with a group of guys in the bar. I kept being like, "No seriously Lucy I think that is the guy from Downton, does it look like him? Is it him?" and craning my neck like a creeper. At last I had to find out if it was him, and after a few minutes of standing in line for my coat staring at him, I was pretty convinced. So I went over and awkwardly said, "Hi, sorry, but do you just really look like, or are you..." and he goes, "Tom Branson? Yeah!" And thus we ended up standing around with Allen Leech and some of the dudes from the opening act and various Irish hotties, for a while. It was so much fun because it wasn't a fan event, it was just running into a minor celeb who happened to be super cute and fun to talk to! Also he was a bit drunk, so that helped. He let us touch his hair extensions, and he tweeted at Shaun because she followed him on twitter. It was basically really ridiculous and fun, and I'll probably never forget it! Those are my favorite celeb encounters, or really the sorts of ones I fantasize about, because they're not sitting at a table being paid to sign stuff for you; they're just doing their own thing and hanging out and willing to chat for a few minutes.

So there you have it, some (most) of my favorite geeky/fangirly/fandomy moments in London! I'm sorry this is such a long post. But it is mostly for me and Shaun to look back on for nostalgic purposes, and if you enjoy it, then awesome!

Wow I have done a lot of really cool stuff in England, haven't I? Life is really good. I am a really lucky person and I can't say enough how grateful I am for every single moment I've had here in the UK. Seriously I can't say it enough. I am so grateful.

Team Loki

Since The Avengers (Avengers Assemble in the UK) hasn't come out yet in the States (el oh el), and I'm still on a fangirl high after seeing it twice, I thought now might be a good time to express my feels about one of my favorite fictional characters ever, Loki Laufeyson. If you haven't seen Thor and you want to do so at some point without getting spoiled, maybe now is the time to turn away. But seriously why haven't you see Thor; I'm not sure we can be friends.

I realize that my blog has become a sort of dumping-ground for my fangirling lately, and for that I apologize. (Not that it was really ever anything else.) But let's get past that, because you're about to be taken on a wild ride of shameless fangirling. 

Almost two weeks ago, Shaun and I went to the European premiere of Avengers Assemble, in London. To clarify, by "went to the premiere" I mean we stood along the red carpet waving cameras in the air and screaming, "Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! TOM! TOM!" while snapping "accidental" photos of his ass. We didn't actually see the film that day; only cool people were allowed to do that. But here, let me show you the Hiddlebum.


Dat ass. My camera knew what it wanted even if I was far too short to see over anyone's head. People are really annoying when they're at events like these, by the way. Celebs make bitches crazy. To my right was a guy who'd brought his DVD covers for Ghost World and Lost in Translation, clearly hoping to get ScarJo's autograph on them. Sigh. And then to my left, always edging in front of me, was some dude who did nothing but stand there. He just stood there, you guys. He wasn't taking pictures, had nothing for anyone to sign; he was just standing there with his arms at his sides, watching. WHY WERE YOU THERE, dude? I wanted to be like, "Buddy, if you're not gonna scream like an asshole and take a billion blurry photos of the tops of people's heads, then you can fuck right off." But I didn't, because I pretend to be a nice person on the outside. Either way I wouldn't have been able to see anybody. I am really short. 

Wait, so what was I talking about? I totally lost my train of thought while recalling how traumatic the premiere was. Oh, yes. So basically we just screamed people's names and the best photo I got was of Tom Hiddleston's ass. We did have a ton of fun with the other fans before the premiere started, though! I took a billion photos of the hilarious/amazing cosplayers that were in our section, but this is the best of the bunch:


The point of this post is Loki, though. Loki. Loki Loki. Let's get back to Loki, Meg! Okay! So all of us (Loki's Army) were sitting there a little past noon, five hours before the whole thing started, putting together a sign to show our love for Tom Hiddleston/Loki. Then a woman sitting near me tapped me on the shoulder and asked, "Why do you guys love Loki so much? He's evil." To which I said something like, BUT HE IS SO ADORBS HOW CAN YOU HATE HIM TOM HIDDLESTON LOOK AT HIS FACE. I meant to be articulate and persuasive, but I vomited fangirlisms instead. Oh well; now I have the chance to explain in my very own blog why I, and probably so many other people, love Loki so much. 1. He's so very tortured. You would be too if you'd grown up all your life in the shadow of your cocky, loudmouth, d-bag older brother who probably gave you wedgies. And also if you found out that you were actually adopted (more like stolen) from a race of evil monsters who everyone hates. And if then your adopted father told you that he only took you away because he planned to basically put you on the throne of Jotunheim later on, not that he was gonna tell you any of this until you cried and had a fit in the hallway, after having pretty much figured it out yourself already. Not to mention the fact that your little ploy to delay your d-bag brother's coronation ended up in his being exiled from your home world. There's probably a lot of guilt going on, a lot of self-loathing, questioning whether your entire life is a lie, wondering whether everyone will loathe you now that your identity has come out. I think we would all be just a little tortured inside if this had all gone down in our lives. Loki just wanted to please his father, to feel himself an equal to his brother, and yet he finds himself feeling even further separated from them upon learning of his true birthright. He never wanted the throne, guys. He just wanted to be Thor's equal. :'( 2. He's so very weepy. I really, really love a villain who angry-weeps. I just find it so endearing and oddly sexy. Basically every scene with Loki, it looks like he's about to cry, or he's actually shedding tears. He's not a villain you immediately hate, nor does he ever really become that villain. He's always sympathetic; he's always Thor's little brother, trying to prove himself, trying to become the kind of man he thinks his father would be proud of, but it comes out all wrong. Unlike most baddies, when I first watched Thor I found myself enjoying the scenes with Loki just as much as, if not more so, than Thor's scenes on Earth. That doesn't happen often while watching superhero movies, not for me. Every time Loki sheds a tear, a little part of me dies inside. 3. He's so very pretty. I'll admit. The first time I saw Thor, I wasn't focused on Loki's ridiculously attractive face. In fact I thought he was kind of weird looking. I liked the vampiric hue of his skin, though. And his pretty gold horn helmet. After watching the film again and being gradually converted into a raving Tom Hiddleston fangirl, I realized that Loki is just a really, really attractive adopted Frost Giant. Look at his eyes, guys. Look at his weirdly slicked-back hair. He's like if an elf and a vampire mated, and created a demigod of Asgard. Yes good. 4. He's so very tragic. It might be that I just have way too many Fangirl Feels pent up inside me and they like to come streaming out all at once in intense droves, but I can't get over how sad Loki's story makes me. The last few moments you see him in Thor, he tells his adopted father Odin, "I could have done it, father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us." Odin could have forgiven his son; he could have said, "Yes, Loki, but you didn't, and it's okay, so come up here and get a big ol' hug from Dad." Instead he said, "No, Loki." And Loki let go. He'd been lied to, betrayed, and now dismissed by his own father. Odin was the only person he wanted to prove himself to, and here Odin was, telling him he couldn't. He never could. It's pretty much the most upsetting character arc of my life right now, and that's why I love Loki so much. What other superhero villain makes me weep shamelessly into my jelly beans at night, while simultaneously giving me a constant ladyboner? What other baddie could look so beautiful while crying and wearing a giant gold cow-horn helmet? Only Loki. Only Loki. 

And that's why I am on Team Loki. So shut up, random lady at the Avengers Assemble premiere! You don't know what you're talking about.

Mark Fucking Gatiss

So, I mean nothing too noteworthy or anything, but I thought I'd just let you guys know I bumped into Mark Gatiss today at Forbidden Planet. No big deal.

... NO BIG DEAL.

I can't though you guys, I can't. I can't even. I was in the Doctor Who section with my friend Hellen, and then I looked over and thought, hmmm that guy looks like Mark Gatiss, so I blatantly gawked at him until I realized, oh dear god that actually IS Mark Gatiss, and then as he began to leave, knowing an opportunity to fangirl was passing me by, I said, "Mark Gatiss?" He turned all awkwardly and said, "Yes?" and I was just like "Hi!" and not sure what horrendously embarrassing words came out of my mouth, but I managed to shake his hand, and made poor Hellen take a picture with my confusing-as-fuck camera, so when she finally found the shutter button I was turned saying, "Sorry!" It looks like I'm staring at him, awestruck. I kind of like the effect.

At any rate I was in a state of giddy disbelief for a while after that, and tried to text Shaun about it but kept accidentally putting my phone into sleep mode because my brain wasn't working properly.

Can I just say? London has been pretty fucking FANTASTIC so far.

Best Day Ever

Today. Was. Ridiculous. You know those days where everything goes right and it seems as though the universe is aligning itself for the sole purpose of giving you an incredible day? Well that was not today. In any way. Today, everything went as awry as it possibly could have. Well, not everything, I suppose, but many many things!

It began with a groggy noon-thirty scroll through my facebook news feed. I have the David Tennant page "liked" so I sometimes get random news about him that I would normally just disregard and scroll past. However, I noticed something about signings and meeting him, and I looked closer, and there was an event. An event? Here in London! With DAVID TENNANT! AN EVENT WHERE YOU GET TO MEET DAVID TENNANT IN LONDON. (Called EMS, incidentally, but it's over now.) After that everything went to hell. I ran around my room, heart beating a billion times a minute, adrenaline rush negating any need for breakfast, so I shot Shaun a text, grabbed my camera, and bolted out of my room on a mission to Earl's Court.

After that was when the "awry" started happening. Trains from Uxbridge were closed for whatever godforsaken reason, so I had to take a replacement service bus to West Ruislip, from there took the Central Line to White City, then walked over to the Hammersmith Line and took that down to Hammersmith, from where, I took the Piccadilly Line to Earl's Court.

By the way, there is no air conditioning on the tube. It was about 80 degrees today. Before I even got to the exhibition center I was dehydrated, sweaty, stinky, and exhausted. Even so, I made my way to the exhibition center, at which point I discovered that autographs from David Tennant were £35 (actually turned out to be £45 in the end but what's ten more pounds). I did not have £35 in cash, which I figured I'd need (turns out I didn't really), so I went to the ATM. It was out of cash. The member of staff told me I needed to go back to Earl's Court in order to find a working one.

On the way back to the station I saw a man dressed as the Tenth Doctor so I asked for a photo. When I turned on my camera I realized: I'd left the memory card at home. Noooo! How could I attend a nerd convention without my camera?! So, panicked, I returned to Earl's Court station and asked a man at a kiosk if he sold camera memory cards. He did not. I asked where the ATM was. He said around the block, on the high street. I asked where I could find a memory card, and he said on the high street as well. I said thanks and went toward the high street.

By this time my feet already hurt, I was giddy and light-headed from lack of nutrients (I'd only had a Gatorade or something which was oddly carbonated), and I was terrified I'd miss the Tennant signing so I was hurrying about with a crazed look in my eye.

Turning the corner from Earl's Court, I saw a cluster of Doctor Who cosplayers. I recognized them by the tall ginger dressed as a police kissogram, and I gasped and said, "Amy Pond!" As I trotted off (on a mission, remember), I heard the Amy cosplayer say excitedly to her friends, "She had a TARDIS tattoo on her arm! Did you see?" It made my day! Well, among other things.

Let's skip to the part where I found a memory card on Earl's Court Road, took cash out of a nearby cash machine, and booked it back to the exhibition center wherein David Tennant awaited me. I was sweaty and disgusting, but luckily I'd straightened my hair the night before (good thinking Meg), and had, on a stroke of genius, brought my comb with which to fix my bangs. Thank god, otherwise I'd have looked a right crazy person.

Right. Let's see some of the sights that met me upon my arrival at the Entertainment Media Show.












Okay this is great -- they had a stall selling American Stuff! LMFAO. Lucky Charms, Pop Tarts, Skittles? I had no idea this was a commodity at English geek conventions. I was so amused so I took photos.

Anyway, back the topic at hand: the deal with the Tennant signing was that you had to get a little ticket that had a number on, and when your number was written on the little white board (as shown at the beginning of this post), you could queue up for an autograph. I ended up buying some swag while waiting, because I found out you could pay for your autograph by credit card, so I spent a bit of my cash (I'm so responsible) and then bought vouchers for the signing with my debit card, and after that spent more of my cash on an autograph from Joe Flanigan from Stargate Atlantis. I pretty much just throw cash at celebs from geeky shows now.

So long story short I ended up in line for David Tennant, and I was so nervous and excited (and malnourished) that I was shaking. I'd dropped my camera earlier due to the strap coming undone (don't worry Dad it's fine), so I was clutching that under one arm, I had a bag of swag on my wrist, and a photo for David to sign in the other hand. I felt so awkward as I neared him, and I prepared my TARDIS tattoo in preparation to show it to him, but as soon as it was my turn... I clammed up. I absolutely froze. He signed the photo, looked up at me (into my eyes), and said, "There you go," in that glorious Scottish voice from the gods. I smiled as ridiculously as only a fangirl could and said, "Thank you!" before scampering off in a dizzy rush. And that was that.

I know, how lame, I didn't even show him my tattoo, I didn't say how much I love him, or that he's amazing, or that I dream about him often or that his freckles are so beautiful or that I've drawn renditions of him on many post-it notes to pass the time at work because he is the perfect Doctor in my mind. I didn't say it. Not any of it! Ugh, I am so awkward. Epic fail. Although I'm sure we can all agree it would've been horrible if I'd mentioned the freckles thing.

Anyway, here's a stupid photo I took while waiting in line. GUESS WHO:




DAVID I LOVE YOU.

Now that that's out of my system...

Oh yes, I mentioned Joe Flanigan. Well! Some of you may know that I am a huge fan of Stargate in all its forms, except for Stargate Universe, which was dumb and trying too hard to be like Battlestar Galactica. So the fact that John Sheppard, I mean Joe Flanigan was there got me super excited. I kept slowly walking past his little section of table, taking photos from afar before shuffling away, but finally I worked up the courage (and £15) to meet him. By the time I went up there the con was on its way to closing, so not many people were about. I picked out my favorite photo and gave my name to the member of staff so he could personalize it, and went up to him. You may imagine I was suave, that I played it cool and was like, "Oh hey Joe. What's up. I'm just hanging out, you know, being smooth and cool and collected," but no. Not whatsoever. I rambled at him, you guys. I RAMBLED SO MUCH. I was still giddy from David Tennant, and I hadn't eaten, and I just went off. I said something like, "I'm such a huge Stargate fan, seriously! I've been working up the nerve to come over here forever! I seriously loved Stargate Atlantis! I was on the tube for hours on the way here, dying of heat! Oh, I came in from Uxbridge! Yeah I'm American, hahahaahahahaha yeah! Oh I saw David Tennant earlier that was fun, can I have a photo?! ...No that's not how it works, sorry, you have to look through the viewfinder, sorry, yeah, no just use the lens to zoom out, sorry, yeah it should... There you go, yeah, did it work? No, okay another one, okay... okay yay! Thanks! Good! Thanks for the photo! Okay this was awesome, you made my day seriously! Thank you so much, okay bye!" That is, not joking, almost exactly how it went. I mean he said things in the midst of it, like "Oh you're American" and "Where did you come in from" and "It was nice meeting you" but... oh god. I am such a spaz, you guys. Such. A spaz. FML.




OH WELL, I got a photo at least! Even after the staff lady had a million issues using my camera, and clearly didn't hear what I said about zooming out with the lens. Oh well, I think I look rather okay, despite internally having a seizure and having run all over London in the hot sun for hours beforehand. Go me! (It's the straight hair, I swear. Saves you from all kinds of frumpiness.)

At the end of the day, I came away with some pretty awesome swag (photos 5 for £10!):






Mission: accomplished. Of course the trek home was its own adventure, which I will tell briefly. I made it all the way back to Uxbridge on nothing but Gatorade, water, and a small muffin. By then it was 7:50pm. I was waiting for the bus, and was suddenly overcome with the feeling that I was about to faint. So, not really looking forward to passing out on the overly hot bus back to Brunel, I ran across the street to The Good Yarn, a pub I'd gone to earlier in the week with Shaun. I asked for water and chips, and planted myself at a table for the next hour. It took me about that long to recover, after three glasses of water and a bowl of chips (i.e. French fries, just in case anyone reading this is super American). When I was considering going back out to catch the bus, a random drunk man came up to me and decided we should be friends. Turned out he'd been drinking all day watching football (soccer), came to the pub, and was now apparently chatting up girls half his age. His name was John and he was a London cab driver. I wanted to ask if he ever thought of using his profession as a way to kidnap and murder people, but I didn't think that would go over well and I doubt he was a fan of Sherlock anyway.

Here's me in the bathroom of the pub, reacting to the events of the day:






And there's The Good Yarn! It's a pretty awesome pub. Every time I've gone in there it's mostly old British dudes drinking pints, and they have some super cheap food. Shaun and I got sausages, chips, and beans (3 sausages each, guys) for £3.20 apiece. Ridiculously awesome! If you visit me I'll take you there, guaranteed.

So, long story long, I think today was a success. I came home to all of my flat mates having a bit of a party in the kitchen, so I joined them and was offered wine and gherkins (tiny pickles), the latter of which I refused. Now I'm still completely jacked up from everything, although I think if I got in bed I might just pass out instantaneously. You never know until you try.

Aaaand last but not least: