This is something a lot of people have asked me about since I started talking about getting my novel published. "Why don't you try self-publishing?" And since I have some strong opinions about this, I figured I'd post about it!
Well, there are several reasons why I'm not going the self-pub route, at least not yet. The first one is simply that there's absolutely no reason to not pursue traditional publication first. No reason. Sure, the process might take a few years longer, and there's 100% more rejection involved, and it's a lot of work, but none of those facts are good reasons to self-publish. At least, not for me. It's been my dream since I was in middle school to write and publish a novel one day, and that dream was always about traditional publication. I want my books to be in Barnes & Noble, on the same shelf as Brandon Sanderson (they totally would be, I checked). And since people are still getting published in the traditional way, I'm putting my lot in with the rest of them. I'm not going to give up on my dream, or accomplish a half-assed version of my dream. I'm going to try as hard as I possibly can to get published the traditional way, whether it's with my currently finished novel, or with another one in the future.
I realize that it's about a billion times harder to get published now than it was in the past. The publishing industry is suffering, and I get that. Agents are only taking on projects that they absolutely adore. Publishers are only taking on books that they think will sell really well. I get it. It's a business. But just because it's hard, doesn't mean I'm going to give up. Since when do people give up on their dreams because the odds are against them? That's just lame, guys! So I'm not letting the shitty state of publishing discourage me. I know I can publish a book, I just have to write the right one, and put a shit-ton of work into editing, finding an agent, and everything else. I'm more than willing to put in that work.
Which brings me to another reason why I'd rather not self-publish. I think it smacks of laziness a lot of the time. I don't mean always. I realize that self-publishing isn't just for lazy people. But, let's be honest -- I think it can be sometimes. There's significantly less rejection involved (i.e. none), and you don't have to wait 6 months for an agent to finish reading your manuscript, and then you don't have to make a billion edits for your agent and then your editor. You can make all the decisions yourself, and then you start making money immediately. You don't have to wait forever for the book to be released, because you have that power. Easy! Right? Yeah, also lame. I feel like if I self-published right now, I'd be taking the lazy, easy way out. Which isn't what I want for my books, my career, or myself. I want to work hard at this, and receive an equal amount of reward.
Another reason I'm not so into the whole idea of self-publishing is because it can get in the way if you want to traditionally publish that book later. If an editor or agent sees that your self-published eBook isn't selling very well, they probably won't be super eager to offer you a book deal. So if I self-publish a book, and then decide later that I'd like to try publishing it the traditional way, the fact that I self-published could be a red flag to publishers. They might think it's a bad book. They might wonder why I self-published in the first place. Am I difficult to work with? Impatient as hell? Unwilling to do the work necessary to get published traditionally? I know not all publishing people are going to react this way, but I've read a lot of articles and interviews, and listened to podcasts that say these are all legitimate concerns. And I don't want to take that chance yet.
Also, I don't trust myself to edit my book. I don't believe I could get it to a place where I feel comfortable selling it, without an agent and an editor looking at it first. I know I could pay somebody to edit for me, but that's something I'd rather not spend money on.
I still think self-publishing is totally legitimate, and definitely a great option for some people, but it's not for me. At least not right now. I just straight-up don't see a reason not to go the traditional route. I may be getting rejection emails every day and I may not ever get this first novel published, but this is a huge learning experience, and I wouldn't change anything about the process. My soul may have been crushed a little, but that comes with the territory. And hey, I'm working on a new novel right now, which I will definitely try to publish when I'm finished with it. I'm not giving up any time soon. My books are going to be on the shelves of Barnes & Noble one day, and I won't stop working toward that dream, damn it!
Showing posts with label publication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label publication. Show all posts
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Journey to Publication! Part 4: Moving On
Hello all, I know it's been a while since I did one of these posts! I felt it wasn't quite right, as nothing was really happening on that front. I'd been sending out regular batches of queries up until a couple weeks ago, but it started to feel... not right. There are 4 agents right now who've requested to read material, one of them the full manuscript, and that's wonderful. I am still hoping for a positive reply or two... but I'm not focusing on it. I'm moving on. I'm not giving up, but I'm focusing my energy elsewhere.
And here's why. I was starting to look at things the wrong way. As a writer I should be writing, and instead I was sending out queries one day a week, and spending the rest of my week refreshing my email in the hope that I'd hear back from an agent. The rejections became easier and easier, until I got to the point where a form rejection of my query didn't bother me at all. I recently received a pass from an agent after reading the first 50 pages of my novel, and it sucked, but it didn't suck for very long and it was fine. So my skin got thicker. But I was still focusing on it, and every time I didn't get an offer of representation, I felt just a little more like I wasn't doing the right thing.
Here's the thing. I love my novel. I think it's great. If I didn't, I wouldn't be sending queries to agents, would I? I do think it has a place in the market right now, and I think it has an audience. But I'm not sure it's exactly where it needs to be yet.
I know this is the novel I wanted to write. The characters, the story, some of the silly moments that I put there just for me... it's exactly how I want it, for now. I'm so proud of myself for writing it. But I don't know if it's ready, or if it's 100% the best it can be. And I'm not at the point right now where I can focus on that, because I'm actually starting to go mad thinking about it, and there is only so much feedback you can hear, so much differing and contradictory feedback, before you start questioning everything.
So I'm taking a break from sending queries. I'm not giving up by any means. I believe in my novel, and I believe it can get published, but I'm not in the right headspace right now to be putting all my energy toward that. I need to be writing, and improving, and learning. And above all, having fun. Because that's why I love to write after all -- it's fun. I love it! And the situation with my novel, where I wasn't writing but just sitting and waiting... wasn't fun at all. It was driving me fucking bonkers.
I had a talk with Greg the other night. He basically told me, Meg, what the fuck are you doing? You love to write. I have a good job and I pay for the great majority of things and you only work part time so you can write. Why aren't you writing? And I thought, why aren't I writing? So I made a lot of excuses, and I cried, but Greg was having none of it. "Just suck it up and write."
Then something clicked. It always has to click with me or I won't do it, I won't listen to advice, I won't make a change unless something clicks. And it did. I realized, not that I should be writing, but I want to be writing. I want to be creating and doing the thing that makes me happiest. I don't want to be sitting and waiting and focusing on trying to sell the book I'd already written. I can do that on the side, or in the meantime, or I can do it later. But right now I have to write.
So I'm writing! I'm working on the outline for a new novel, and while it's set in a different world and there are different characters and a different setting, it's very similar in tone. It's a little bit Steampunk meets Indiana Jones meets Jane Austen, and I hope in a good way. I've no idea if it can sell, but I don't care at this point. I know I'm going to have a ton of fun writing it, and really that's the only thing I want to focus on right now.
And here's why. I was starting to look at things the wrong way. As a writer I should be writing, and instead I was sending out queries one day a week, and spending the rest of my week refreshing my email in the hope that I'd hear back from an agent. The rejections became easier and easier, until I got to the point where a form rejection of my query didn't bother me at all. I recently received a pass from an agent after reading the first 50 pages of my novel, and it sucked, but it didn't suck for very long and it was fine. So my skin got thicker. But I was still focusing on it, and every time I didn't get an offer of representation, I felt just a little more like I wasn't doing the right thing.
Here's the thing. I love my novel. I think it's great. If I didn't, I wouldn't be sending queries to agents, would I? I do think it has a place in the market right now, and I think it has an audience. But I'm not sure it's exactly where it needs to be yet.
I know this is the novel I wanted to write. The characters, the story, some of the silly moments that I put there just for me... it's exactly how I want it, for now. I'm so proud of myself for writing it. But I don't know if it's ready, or if it's 100% the best it can be. And I'm not at the point right now where I can focus on that, because I'm actually starting to go mad thinking about it, and there is only so much feedback you can hear, so much differing and contradictory feedback, before you start questioning everything.
So I'm taking a break from sending queries. I'm not giving up by any means. I believe in my novel, and I believe it can get published, but I'm not in the right headspace right now to be putting all my energy toward that. I need to be writing, and improving, and learning. And above all, having fun. Because that's why I love to write after all -- it's fun. I love it! And the situation with my novel, where I wasn't writing but just sitting and waiting... wasn't fun at all. It was driving me fucking bonkers.
I had a talk with Greg the other night. He basically told me, Meg, what the fuck are you doing? You love to write. I have a good job and I pay for the great majority of things and you only work part time so you can write. Why aren't you writing? And I thought, why aren't I writing? So I made a lot of excuses, and I cried, but Greg was having none of it. "Just suck it up and write."
Then something clicked. It always has to click with me or I won't do it, I won't listen to advice, I won't make a change unless something clicks. And it did. I realized, not that I should be writing, but I want to be writing. I want to be creating and doing the thing that makes me happiest. I don't want to be sitting and waiting and focusing on trying to sell the book I'd already written. I can do that on the side, or in the meantime, or I can do it later. But right now I have to write.
So I'm writing! I'm working on the outline for a new novel, and while it's set in a different world and there are different characters and a different setting, it's very similar in tone. It's a little bit Steampunk meets Indiana Jones meets Jane Austen, and I hope in a good way. I've no idea if it can sell, but I don't care at this point. I know I'm going to have a ton of fun writing it, and really that's the only thing I want to focus on right now.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Journey to Publication! Part 1: First Rejection
I've been warned, repeatedly, endless times, over and over again, that the process of trying to get your book published, namely finding an agent, sucks. Like, really sucks. Everything sucks. It sucks writing a query letter, it sucks even more writing a synopsis, it sucks querying agents, it sucks being rejected. Over and over again. So many rejections. Never-ending rejections. "GROW THICK SKIN" they say, "OR ELSE YOUR SOUL WILL BE TORN ASUNDER, YOUR BODY LEFT AN EMPTY SHELL, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN, YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE LIKE A BLACK HOLE OF ENNUI, EVERY PARTICLE OF LIGHT SUCKED IN AND DECIMATED." Etcetera.
And I thought, in response: HA you guys are a bunch of pussies, who can't take a rejection letter? It's not that bad. There are so many reasons, mostly subjective, why an agent would reject my book. I totally understand. I mean, not everyone can love my book, or even want to read it, or even want to represent it. It's cool. I completely get it, and I am ready to dive head-first into that world! I'm ready. Let's do this.
Cue me sending out one query letter. One. Just one.
Cue the next day. I receive a form rejection via email.
I sit there. I go, "Oh, okay. This isn't surprising. Good. I've got my first rejection out of the way!" I continue to watch The Vampire Diaries.
Only, I felt vaguely as though somebody had torn my soul from my body, punched it in the stomach, and put it back inside me.
"I'M NOT A PUSSY" I said to myself, pouring an entire thing of Reese's Pieces into my mouth and chewing, slowly. "IT'S COOL. I DON'T EVEN CARE."
As the minutes and hours wore on, I realized, detachedly, that I couldn't get up from the couch. It's comfy here, I thought, stuffing my face with leftover Christmas candy. I DON'T EVEN WANNA GET UP.
Cue Greg later asking what I wanted for dinner, in a clipped tone, and me jumping to the totally reasonable conclusion that he hated me and wanted me to die. "WHY DO YOU HATE MEEE" I said, feeling completely justified. "I CAN TELL YOU WANT ME TO DIE I CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR TONE."
"I just want to eat dinner?" said Greg, confused. "Are you okay? Seriously what's wrong."
"NOTHING OK I'M FINE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT."
"But seriously what's wrong."
"NOTHING."
"Meg."
"I'm embarrassed, okay? I'm embarrassed I'm so embarrassed I didn't want to tell you."
Cue me explaining that I'd sent out one query letter, unsolicited, without telling anyone. And, just as quickly and quietly, I'd been rejected.
"Oh," said Greg. "So what do you want for dinner?"
It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I just wanted to curl up into a fetal position and fade away into nothingness. Clearly there was no reason to live anymore. Nobody wanted my novel. Everyone hated it. Nobody would ever publish the senseless piece of drivel I had dared to call a novel. What was I THINKING? This publishing industry business isn't the magical, cozy, "let's all be friends" sort of Care Bears scenario I'd been imagining. It's a business, just like any other. I mean shit, I probably wouldn't take on my novel if I wanted to make a buck. I'd look for some YA urban paranormal fantasy romance starring a blonde 17-year-old hottie. I'd be like, "Clockpunk? What the everloving shit?" and copy, paste, and send that form rejection. Bam. The end.
"It's just the same as when you start applying for jobs in a new city," said Greg, this afternoon. "Your first few rejections are really hard, but then you suck it up, and it's not as bad."
But he doesn't realize that this is different. It's fundamentally different in that, when I don't get a job, I think "UGH THIS SUCKS I'M STILL BROKE" and cry a little. But after my query being rejected just once, I feel as though my entire existence has been invalidated. Okay maybe not quite that badly... but this book is something I've worked hard on, I've cried over it, I've sweat over it, I may have bled over it at some point. It's my baby. And to send your baby, even in the form of a one-page query letter, to somebody and for that somebody to be like "Meh, not really interested, not even interested enough to tell you that in person or to say something nice about your baby. It's just like all the other babies. Can't be bothered. Here's the same letter I send to all the moms whose babies are so nondescript and/or shit that I forget about them moments after hitting send" is REALLY HARD. It's really hard okay. It's like "but why do you hate my beautiful child, I love my child, whyyyyyyy" and it sucks.
So yeah I HAVE HAD ONE REJECTION and it was from a super popular agency and it was one of those "I'm doing this for shits and giggles" sort of things but it was still a rejection, and I'm still moping about it.
And I also realized that I'm not really feeling the whole ~publishing industry bullshit~ thing right now, and I'm taking a break. I'm not going to push myself to do anything right now. I deserve a bloody break, y'know? I deserve to watch Stefan and Damon brood together in leather jackets for hours and hours every day if I want to. And hey, maybe tomorrow I'll be super pumped up about it again, and positive, and excited! But I figure, if I'm not pumped up and excited... then what's the point? So here I am, treating myself well (aka sitting on the couch watching Star Trek and eating pizza with Greg) and not forcing myself to do things simply because I think I should. Which, admittedly, I do. A lot.
I am waiting to hear back from an agent who Matt put me in touch with, but she doesn't really rep fantasy, so I'm not expecting anything big. I only hope she has some advice or agent-y wisdom to bestow upon me in my time of need. I mean, that's what this Matt connection is for, right? To make people feel obligated to help me out in some way?
Ah, Meg. Why did you ever decide to become a writer. BECAUSE I LIKE PAIN. That's why. I like pain.
And I thought, in response: HA you guys are a bunch of pussies, who can't take a rejection letter? It's not that bad. There are so many reasons, mostly subjective, why an agent would reject my book. I totally understand. I mean, not everyone can love my book, or even want to read it, or even want to represent it. It's cool. I completely get it, and I am ready to dive head-first into that world! I'm ready. Let's do this.
Cue me sending out one query letter. One. Just one.
Cue the next day. I receive a form rejection via email.
I sit there. I go, "Oh, okay. This isn't surprising. Good. I've got my first rejection out of the way!" I continue to watch The Vampire Diaries.
Only, I felt vaguely as though somebody had torn my soul from my body, punched it in the stomach, and put it back inside me.
"I'M NOT A PUSSY" I said to myself, pouring an entire thing of Reese's Pieces into my mouth and chewing, slowly. "IT'S COOL. I DON'T EVEN CARE."
As the minutes and hours wore on, I realized, detachedly, that I couldn't get up from the couch. It's comfy here, I thought, stuffing my face with leftover Christmas candy. I DON'T EVEN WANNA GET UP.
Cue Greg later asking what I wanted for dinner, in a clipped tone, and me jumping to the totally reasonable conclusion that he hated me and wanted me to die. "WHY DO YOU HATE MEEE" I said, feeling completely justified. "I CAN TELL YOU WANT ME TO DIE I CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR TONE."
"I just want to eat dinner?" said Greg, confused. "Are you okay? Seriously what's wrong."
"NOTHING OK I'M FINE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT."
"But seriously what's wrong."
"NOTHING."
"Meg."
"I'm embarrassed, okay? I'm embarrassed I'm so embarrassed I didn't want to tell you."
Cue me explaining that I'd sent out one query letter, unsolicited, without telling anyone. And, just as quickly and quietly, I'd been rejected.
"Oh," said Greg. "So what do you want for dinner?"
It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I just wanted to curl up into a fetal position and fade away into nothingness. Clearly there was no reason to live anymore. Nobody wanted my novel. Everyone hated it. Nobody would ever publish the senseless piece of drivel I had dared to call a novel. What was I THINKING? This publishing industry business isn't the magical, cozy, "let's all be friends" sort of Care Bears scenario I'd been imagining. It's a business, just like any other. I mean shit, I probably wouldn't take on my novel if I wanted to make a buck. I'd look for some YA urban paranormal fantasy romance starring a blonde 17-year-old hottie. I'd be like, "Clockpunk? What the everloving shit?" and copy, paste, and send that form rejection. Bam. The end.
"It's just the same as when you start applying for jobs in a new city," said Greg, this afternoon. "Your first few rejections are really hard, but then you suck it up, and it's not as bad."
But he doesn't realize that this is different. It's fundamentally different in that, when I don't get a job, I think "UGH THIS SUCKS I'M STILL BROKE" and cry a little. But after my query being rejected just once, I feel as though my entire existence has been invalidated. Okay maybe not quite that badly... but this book is something I've worked hard on, I've cried over it, I've sweat over it, I may have bled over it at some point. It's my baby. And to send your baby, even in the form of a one-page query letter, to somebody and for that somebody to be like "Meh, not really interested, not even interested enough to tell you that in person or to say something nice about your baby. It's just like all the other babies. Can't be bothered. Here's the same letter I send to all the moms whose babies are so nondescript and/or shit that I forget about them moments after hitting send" is REALLY HARD. It's really hard okay. It's like "but why do you hate my beautiful child, I love my child, whyyyyyyy" and it sucks.
So yeah I HAVE HAD ONE REJECTION and it was from a super popular agency and it was one of those "I'm doing this for shits and giggles" sort of things but it was still a rejection, and I'm still moping about it.
And I also realized that I'm not really feeling the whole ~publishing industry bullshit~ thing right now, and I'm taking a break. I'm not going to push myself to do anything right now. I deserve a bloody break, y'know? I deserve to watch Stefan and Damon brood together in leather jackets for hours and hours every day if I want to. And hey, maybe tomorrow I'll be super pumped up about it again, and positive, and excited! But I figure, if I'm not pumped up and excited... then what's the point? So here I am, treating myself well (aka sitting on the couch watching Star Trek and eating pizza with Greg) and not forcing myself to do things simply because I think I should. Which, admittedly, I do. A lot.
I am waiting to hear back from an agent who Matt put me in touch with, but she doesn't really rep fantasy, so I'm not expecting anything big. I only hope she has some advice or agent-y wisdom to bestow upon me in my time of need. I mean, that's what this Matt connection is for, right? To make people feel obligated to help me out in some way?
Ah, Meg. Why did you ever decide to become a writer. BECAUSE I LIKE PAIN. That's why. I like pain.
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