Saturday, April 14, 2012

The New Black

So some of you probably already know (if you follow me on twitter) that I dyed my hair black yesterday! I've gone super dark brown before, but never this dark. I've always secretly wanted black hair, because vampires and goths are super hot, but was always too scared to do it. Not necessarily because I was worried I'd look bad, but because I was afraid of how people would react. That's the thing about changing your appearance noticeably -- people are bound to comment, and sometimes it can be nerve-wracking waiting for a response. It's particularly stressful when you're like me: I love expressing myself through my clothes, hair, and accessories (and my one lone tattoo), but I also have this kinda gross, constant need to be liked. So even if I think I'll look good with black hair, I have to ask friends ahead of time, "Will it look okay? I won't look like a teen goth will I?" Not that I'd even mind looking like a teen goth, but I live in terror of being judged by others.

I'm sure I'm not the only one! How many of you have changed something about your appearance, or not changed something (even as little as not wearing a certain outfit one day), because you were worried it would receive a negative reaction? As an ex style blogger, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love wearing weird things sometimes, and I definitely believe in expressing myself, no matter what other people think. But every once in a while I doubt myself, and this was one instance where I wasn't convinced. To go black, or stay safe with brown?

In the end, this piece of art that I found on tumblr made up my mind.

It hit me then -- what's so great about looking natural? Why should I be expected to love my mousey-brown natural hair color over a color that I choose, that I know I will love? And why should girls with curly hair need to "embrace their curls," or why shouldn't a girl with a flat chest get breast implants? If it's done out of joy, if a girl or a boy gets a tattoo and it makes them happier, then I am all for it. Of course nothing is wrong with embracing one's natural beauty! I think it's an amazing thing to be able to love every single thing about yourself, as is. But if there's something you can change, and you want to, and it's not done out of fear or insecurity or because it's what someone else wants, then by all means -- change it! To me, dying my hair or putting on a bunch of eyeliner or getting a tattoo is a way to express myself. I feel like the Real Meg when I do these things, and it makes me feel good.

So yes, I'm very glad I chose to dye my hair black! I don't regret it for a second. It's made me just that bit more confident now, because I look exactly the way I want to look.

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