20 Stupid Thoughts: Guardians of the Galaxy

Here are 20 stupid thoughts I have about Guardians of the Galaxy. Which, by the way, is an A+ 5 out of 5 stars awesome movie that everybody should watch right now and that I would like to see again ASAP. So much so that I used the acronym "ASAP"!! Seriously this movie though. Here are my thoughts that I wrote down as I came up with them so it's pretty much the worst review/reaction post of all time. You're welcome.

1. Chris Pratt, the perfect mix of hot and hilarious. I knew he was hot now but he is so hot now. Great, all of my love interests are not denizens of this earth (and are not real people). Wrap me in your strong arms, Star-Lord. Asshole.

2. Gamora and Peter never kiss!!! I like it. More like this please, Hollywood and the world. (Titan A.E. already got the memo.)

3. The part with Groot almost made me weep openly. Which part you ask? IT DOESN'T MATTER. All of them.

4. Footloose though.

5. Just that whole scene on Xandar where everyone is chasing/shooting at/trying to capture each other is frankly beyond words so I won't say any.

6. Rocket is so angry and sarcastic but so sensitive on the inside! He doesn't even know what a raccoon is!! He talks to Groot like Han Solo talks to Chewbacca, which is cray because Groot only says "I am Groot"! What a crazy raccoon/tree duo!!

7. GROOOOOT.

8. Can we talk about how this movie achieves the perfect balance of comedy, action, emotional depth, and badass visuals? I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed myself so fucking much.

9. That weird thing the guy wants to put on his spaceship dashboard???

10. Rocket's cheek fur is all smashed when he wakes up though.

11. KAREN GILLAN. Damn is she gorgeous no matter what you do to her. Marry me and be in every movie I watch from now on? Thank you.

12. Rocket whenever he has a big gun and is firing it though!

13. The soundtrack; can we talk about the soundtrack?

14. Lee Pace is only doing movies where he can be an over-the-top ham with fabulous headwear from now on.

15. Peter Quill is not 100% a dick.

16. "Ain't no thing like me, except me!"AHAHA WHAT'S THAT ROCKET? Tell me again. Angrily.

17. "I wasn't listening. I was thinking of something else."

18. ROCKET'S LIL FACE AND HIS LIL JUMPSUIT AND HIS LIL RACOON EARS THO

19. Drax stroking Rocket's ears though ahahahaaaaaahahaaa I'm not hysterical.

20. I HAVE A CRUSH ON A CGI RACCOON OKAY ARE YOU HAPPY NOW

Book Review: Sharps

I finished Sharps by K.J. Parker last week (I think?), and am finally getting 'round to writing a review. I saw it randomly at Barnes & Noble while nursing a vanilla latte several weeks ago, and when my dad sent me a giftcard to BN.com, I added it to my cart immediately. I'm not sure what exactly intrigued me about it beyond the fact that it's about fencing. I'm really picky about what books I read, and if I'm not super interested after reading the back cover blurb, I probably won't bother. Still, I had never read anything by K.J. Parker before, and I had absolutely no idea if Sharps would be any good.

When I started reading, I had just tossed Beautiful Creatures aside in a huff, frustrated that I couldn't relate to the characters or muster any interest in what happened to them. I felt I needed a break from YA paranormal romance, so I started Sharps without super high expectations.

I was instantly hooked. Honestly, for about the first 50 pages, I had no idea what was going on, or who anyone was. There's a vaguely Game of Thrones-y vibe about the book in that it's told from several characters' points of view, and it's heavy on the political intrigue. Plus the characters' names are super weird (Tzimisces? COME ON). But for some inexplicable reason I felt I needed to find out what was going to happen, and I kept reading. I'm so glad I did, because I was thoroughly swept up in the story and the various arcs of each character.

The story follows a team of fencers from Scheria, who are sent on a fencing tour through a neighboring enemy country, Permia. It's meant to be a sort of peace-making mission, because Permians are hardcore fans of fencing, and the two countries have recently been at war with one another. The team consists of three men and a woman, all of whom are pretty much either bribed, coerced, or forced into representing their country on this team. The tour goes awry form the get-go, with their party facing bandits, a broken axle, horrible weather, and far too much pickled cabbage. As their journey through Permia continues it begins to verge on the ridiculous, with riots, fires, more bandits, and assassinations following in their wake.

What kept me interested, aside from the great characterizations, was this constant feeling that there were bigger machinations going on in the background. I don't want to give anything away, but there's a definite feeling of "what's really going on with this fencing tour?" throughout the narrative that kept me turning the pages.

The characters themselves were as intriguing to me in their own right as the "plot" as it were, though I suppose you can count character arcs as plot arcs. Maybe? Anyway. The Scherian fencing team is made up of Giraut, a young man who's told to choose between joining the team and being hanged, so he makes the obvious choice. He's a practiced fencer, but a privileged young man who literally freezes at the first sign of danger. Addo is the son of a Scherian war hero, and as his father requested that he join the team, he really has no choice but to do so. He's quiet and unassuming, but arguably one of the most complex characters on the team. Suidas is a champion fencer, and is offered a significant amount of money to join the team. He starts out as the group's voice of reason, taking the lead when their carriage's axle breaks and leaves them stranded, but as their journey progresses his behavior becomes more erratic as he's forced to relive his time served in the war. And finally there's Iseutz, the only lady of the team, terminally grumpy and only there because it's better than the marriage that had been arranged for her back in Scheria.

The team's interactions are strained from the start, and since pretty much nothing goes right during the entirety of the tour, they're at one another's throats for the majority of it. What I loved was the sarcastic, banter-y dialogue and the author's dry, witty style. Often the book felt like a very dark comedy, but I wouldn't describe it as such. In fact I don't really know how to describe it, as it's not high fantasy and it's not even really about fencing. It could almost be like, gritty mannerpunk, or... realistic fantasy? There's no magic, no fairies or monsters, just people. But it's set in a fantasy world, so take that as you will.

This is the most rambling, useless book review in the world, and I'm sorry. You'll really just have to read the book and form an opinion for yourself. I really, really liked it. The characters were alive and engaging, the dialogue was brilliant, the story and conflict carried along at a nice clip, and the world was so fully realized that I have a hard time believing it doesn't exist somewhere. For me the real heart of this story is in the characters, so if you're a fan of character-driven books, I'm looking at you! Check this one out.

So yes, Sharps was a surprising hit with me, and I urge everyone to read it, regardless of your normal taste in books, because I can see pretty much anyone enjoying it. Go! Read!

Book Review: Clockwork Angel

Time for another book review! This one, like Etiquette & Espionage, is steampunk, but with a decidedly darker tone. I'd been meaning to read Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare for years, and when I finally got 'round to reading one of her books, it was her Mortal Instruments series. After finishing those I moved on to The Infernal Devices, but for whatever reason it didn't grab me at first, and after weeks not reading it, I came back to Clockwork Angel and absolutely loved it. So clearly there was something wrong with me, and not the book.

In terms of plot, this book is a bit more slow-moving than City of Bones, for example. There is a lot of the ol' exposition, and dialogue that serves no purpose but to explain things, etc. Which is typical of Cassie Clare, let's be honest, but it doesn't hinder the flow of the story too much. For those who have read The Mortal Instruments, and are considering reading this series, it's worth pointing out. The story follows Tessa Gray, an American teenager who travels to London to join her brother, who has been working there for a while. But instead of meeting him on the other side of the Pond, she's immediately abducted by a pair of sinister, creepy old ladies, the Dark Sisters. The Sisters inform Tessa that she has the crazy ability to turn into another person, physically and a bit mentally, and they force her to learn how to use her newfound ability. Eventually Tessa is rescued by a sexy yet emo and self-hating young Shadowhunter, and the action goes from there.

Overall it's the typical story of a teenager who finds out she has magical powers, tries to cope with them/use them, and also learns some crazy stuff about her family along the way. And, much like Etiquette & Espionage, there are vampires and werewolves. There are also demons and warlocks and things, and Shadowhunters (people with angel blood who fight demons and what have you) of course. So it's a bit of a paranormal/steampunk romance combo, all the better.

Tessa as a protagonist is quite likable, although I felt she faded into the background occasionally. She is, admittedly, a Victorian young lady and is somewhat constrained by what she thinks a lady ought or ought not to do/think/etc. I actually quite liked that about her, but she has just enough spunk (I hate that word) to make her a likable character. She definitely knows what she wants and she goes for it, which is more than we can say for many YA female leads, and that's a bonus. In the end, though, I still feel as though I don't know much about her aside from her interest in novels, and her love for her brother Nathaniel.

The main subplot is a romance, as you've concluded, though I'm not sure how I feel about it. There's a love triangle (of course), but it's much more reserved and anguished than what we had going on in The Mortal Instruments. Very Victorian, unsurprisingly. Tessa compares Will Herondale, her main love interest and resident bad boy, to Heathcliff and Mr Darcy at one point, which is apt, although Will seems a bit more pathetic than the aforementioned. He is only a teenager, after all, though it's hinted that he has a ~dark past~ and is super tortured about it. Will's general air of self-loathing and antagonism makes him difficult to like, despite his dark blue eyes, wild black hair, and devil-may-care attitude. I want to fall in love with the romantic lead along with the protagonist, so this was a bit annoying, but Will is just charming enough to make me like him (though not love him). Jem Carstairs, on the other hand, is a wholly intriguing character who suffers from an "ailment" that I will not name, but which is actually far more interesting than you'd guess. He only truly comes into his own by the third act, which is a shame, but he does spend a lot of his time languishing in bed so I suppose he can be forgiven.

I'm sure we'll learn more about Jem and Will in the next book in the series, which I intend to purchase come payday! And then you'll hear my thoughts about it. Until then, if you enjoy YA romance, steampunk, paranormal romance, or any combination thereof, you should definitely check this one out. It's very enjoyable, it has some great light-hearted moments, and even more emo/tortured/I-love-you-but-I-can't-have-you moments. Oh and they fight vampires at one point. Highly recommended!

Book Review: Etiquette & Espionage

I said I'd post book reviews here at some point, so I'm doing it! I'm doing it. I finished Etiquette & Espionage recently, and since I'm a huge fan of Gail Carriger, I thought it would be fitting to start with this one. Yay YA steampunk!

The premise of E&E (as I shall now call it) is pretty simple. Sophronia, a girl living in a steampunk Victorian England (do I need to explain what steampunk is? No? Okay), is sent off to what she thinks will be finishing school, but is actually a school for young ladies to learn how to partake in espionage. Among other things... including finishing people. (Meanwhile young boys get sent to a school where they learn how to be evil masterminds.) It seems kind of silly, and admittedly -- it is. But it's so clearly meant to be silly that it's amazing. And since this is an alternate version of English history, it also includes vampires and werewolves! If you've read the Parasol Protectorate series you'll realize that it's set in the same world, years earlier. Which is super fun because there are characters you might recognize from that series.

The plot isn't too complex, and the stakes aren't very high, but Gail Carriger's writing is so full of character that I had a hard time putting it down. Gail has a very Victorian, sort of Jane Austen-y vibe going with her prose, and it's very funny. Some of my favorite moments are in the details. In this world people have mechanicals instead of maids and butlers, and occasionally the mechanicals wear clothing, so often a mechanical would splutter indignantly and emit a jet of air, and its cravat would flutter up into its metal face. Details like that are one of my favorite things to write, so I love finding them in books; they make me so happy!

I don't really know how to review books, it turns out. I don't want to give anything away in terms of the plot, but there's the typical school setting tropes, where the outcast girls band together and become friends, etc. There's also a hint of romance (more in later books?), a werewolf who ties his top hat to his head so even when he changes to wolf form he's still wearing it, sky pirates (officially called "flywaymen"), and various secret societies and steampunk tomfoolery. It's a very quick read, and so much fun all the way through. I'd highly recommend E&E, as well as Gail Carriger's other work, because her writing is so funny and quirky and engaging.

And, if any of you have already read this or other books by Gail Carriger, do you have any recommendations for similar books?

Edited to add: If you want to read a bit more about my love of Gail Carriger, check out my post about the Steampunk Soiree that took place at Foyle's last spring in London! And much thanks to Little, Brown for the complimentary copy of Soulless, which began the love affair.

Drive

So I just finished watching Drive. Now that I've tweeted incoherently about it, I figured it would be a fun thing for me to write about it in my blog. Fun for me; no idea if you guys are super stoked for this, BUT I AM.

So I initially watched the movie because I saw a post on tumblr with a screencap and a quote from it. And I thought, boy that looks interesting. I mean I do love Ryan Gosling, ever since The Notebook (am I right girls!), so that wasn't a deterrent. I had no idea what this movie was gonna be like so I went into it assuming it would just be a two-hour-long series of shots of Ryan Gosling wearing a scorpion jacket and driving in a car with some neat leather driving gloves on. That's what I expected, but I got so much more! I got Carey Mulligan and Christina Hendricks, even! Score.

Considering I went into this movie with really no expectations, other than the fact that London was covered in posters for it when I first moved here and I figured that must mean it was at least okay, I was pleasantly surprised! What struck me immediately was the synth-y music and pink '80s font, which is always intriguing and enticing, and the cinematography really made me happy. If a movie is mediocre, or even awful, I will sit through it and enjoy it if it's pretty enough. This is a fact. (Sadly, I could only sit through The Wolfman because I'd paid $10 to see it and I thought I should get my money's worth, plus it's totally embarrassing to leave in the middle of a movie, right?) Luckily, however, Drive was not awful, or even mediocre! It was actually pretty great. Immediately afterwards I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but since I haven't been able to think of anything but the movie since I finished watching it (it's been, like, a whole hour), to me that says classic!

Seriously though you guys, first of all, if you like Ryan Gosling you're gonna like this. I guarantee it. If you don't like it, then I just don't know if you truly love him as much as you profess to. His character is great. And Carey Mulligan is so adorable and vulnerable and appealing as a single mother. How can you say no to that face? Plus the music is incredible; you've got so many weird ambient shots with little to no dialogue, just people looking at stuff or each other, staring, the synth rising... it's amazing! So many reaction shots that go on for so long they cross over the line from awkward into fine art. Totally strange but I loved it.

I clearly can't get over this movie, so you should probably watch it, guys! Notice I didn't mention the plot at all. This is because I don't want to spoil you, and some people (like Greg) think that knowing anything at all about the plot, I mean anything, like even knowing who the characters are, could ruin the movie. I'm just keeping your best interests at heart. Go watch Drive.

Let's Kill Hitler

It's that time again! Time for Doctor Who, and much happiness in my fangirl heart. Admittedly the premiere of the second half of season 6 (mouthful!) was all of four days ago, but I'm still in the throes of awesome overload, and thus it's the perfect time for me to write up a review of the episode. If you haven't yet seen it, you may want to come back and read my ramblings later once you have. Spoilers!

Warning: this "review" is disjointed and uses lots of sentences full of commas. I'm writing under the impression that if you're reading this you've seen the episode, so it's not so much a summary as a series of reactions to things that happened. You've been warned.






Considering the title of the episode is "Let's Kill Hitler" (which I took every opportunity to say and then giggle about in the week before the episode aired), the Führer shows up for only a brief stint, and then presumably stays locked in a cupboard for the rest of it. This is a bit of a relief, since I was trying to imagine a tasteful way for an episode of Doctor Who to be about killing Hitler, but all in all the whole Hitler bit was quick and funny and more about the Ponds being badass than anything else. Which, admittedly, is always awesome. I love them Ponds! ♥




So really, for a mid-season premiere, I enjoyed this episode immensely and it lived up to all expectations. Last we saw the Doctor he was setting out to find Melody Pond, and the parental Ponds were still in relative shock after discovering that their daughter was in fact River Song. "Hitler" begins some months later, presumably, with the Ponds using cutting-edge crop circle technology to summon the Doctor. There we get to meet Mels, the Ponds' lifelong best friend and matchmaker. (The flashback bit with the three of them is ridiculously adorable -- poor Rory!) It's really great to get a look at how Amy and Rory actually got together, and even though suddenly being asked to accept this new Mels character as their lifelong friend is jarring, it works for me.

I think, from the beginning, I had an inkling that Mels was Melody. Firstly, her name is Mels for godsake. Of course it's short for Melody. And then she's got River-esque hair for one thing, and that attitude for another. I suppose I was meant to be really shocked when she starts to regenerate, but I knew from the moment she was shot -- oh god she's going to regenerate into Alex Kingston! Ta-da, she did.




Loved the regeneration scene, though. It's always great watching the Doctor discover his new body, and this time we get a lady Time Lord! A sexy one at that. I loved it, and I love Alex Kingston, and I love River. So all of it was hilarious and wonderful. When she gets all up on the Doctor against Hitler's desk, and the Doctor is clearly so flustered -- brilliant moment. Their chemistry is so perfect, as always, and the more we get to see their relationship in the show, the more I love it. But then again I'm a sucker for semi-tragic time travel love stories, so.




I feel like this episode was mostly a "this is how River's story truly begins" sort of episode, and it didn't really need all of that justice robot nonsense. It was important for Mels at the end to see that she was, indeed, River Song, but I'm sure they could have just said "Oh by the way, you are River Song," instead of having the tessalector take on her appearance, but I guess it was a lot more poignant that way.

I've heard a complaint or two that there wasn't enough development between the moment when River poisons the Doctor, and when she decides to save his life by making an enormous personal sacrifice. Since this change is at the crux of the episode, I think it's important to discuss further. River was, after all, trained and conditioned to be nothing but a Doctor-killing machine. It does seem like a big change to have undergone, considering the reason for her existence up until then was to get to the Doctor and then kill him (and, I suppose, make sure her parents ultimately got together), but I think the important thing to remember is this: That River is all at once shown a life she could have, essentially has had (a pretty awesome life at that), and she's given the choice between fulfilling the one and only goal in her current life, or opening herself up to the incredible possibility of a new life as River Song.




I think there were a couple factors that really influenced River's change of heart. The fact that the TARDIS taught her how to fly her, and that River was able to fly her, was a life-changing moment for her. And then to be privy to the Doctor's dying words, words meant for River Song, affected her greatly. Of course upon realizing that those words were actually meant for her, River realized that she was so much more than just an assassin. She was important to these people; they loved her. The TARDIS knew her and trusted her, the Doctor gave his dying words to her, and the Ponds obviously loved her as their own daughter but also knew her as this amazing woman River Song. I think in that moment she realized there were all of these possibilities ahead of her, this man she was meant to fall in love with, and here he was dying at her feet. How could she let all of that slip away? I'm not surprised she gave up so much to save the Doctor. It wasn't just about him, it was about a path laid out in front of her, and all of these people who loved her and knew her as the women she had yet to become. In her place, wouldn't you have done the same? I would. But I am a giant pile of woobie romantic, so... perhaps some of you wouldn't.

I'm really curious to hear what everyone else thought of this episode. I've only watched it twice so far, but I mean to watch all of the River Song episodes again to get a better feel for her story. There are still some timey-wimey bits that confuse me, but I'm sure I'll sort them out once I re-watch it all.

Oh and also, how adorable is the Doctor in that tux? Sonic cane! Gaahh too much awesome.