Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dick Move

A lot of times I can be a dick. And I'm not just saying this in a funny, "Haha I'm such a dick when I give rescue bunnies to lonely orphans on my days off!" No. This isn't irony, people. This is fact. A lot of times, on complete purpose, I am a dick. Even without meaning to I can be a giant penis. I assume all of us are this way sometimes, but I find that I'm particularly prone to it on the internet. Big surprise. I like to comfort myself that I'm not the only one, but who knows, I might get drunk and black out and be every single troll on the internet without knowing it. I just have a bunch of different IP addresses that I use. And like, different emails. (I don't know how the internet works.) Anyway the point is, let me be straight with you all: I'm not always nice.

I feel it's important to be genuine on this blog, because what you read here is absolutely 100% me. I don't filter, I don't edit (except for grammar). I am actually this awesome. I am also this much of a loser. Up to you how you read it, but what I write here is completely genuine and I stand by it. That also goes for what I write in the comments, and what I write on twitter especially, because on twitter is where I bitch about stuff. I mean really bitch. If there's somebody on facebook who bugs me and I think might not be on twitter, I'll bitch about them there. If there's somebody on twitter who makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a spoon, I'll rant about them on facebook. That's how it goes. You know you all do it too. I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not. I'm not trying to love everybody and be loved by everybody. I don't hate anyone except homophobes and rapists, and I don't think that hate is something worth spending time and energy in cultivating. But I do complain a lot, and I think venting and ranting is a healthy way to blow off steam. I do. So that's me. Maybe you disagree. Okay.

Alone in my dark room, angry at somebody on the internet.
That said, sometimes somebody finds out that I'm bitching about them. Or I actually bitch about them to their face, which often happens on facebook or fandom!secrets (which I don't read anymore but I always used to leave trollish comments there and it was glorious). Don't worry, I'll never do it anonymously. I don't believe in that shit; if you want to be an asshole, take pride in it and own it! Anons are the worst. So when somebody finds out I've been bitching, like recently on my twitter, then I get to feel like a giant throbbing cock when they call me on it.

Yeah, a giant throbbing cock. To the person who commented on my blog the other day and I totally said snarky things on twitter, well... you know who you are. I said what I meant at the time, but I'm sorry. It was probably in bad taste. But at the same time, would you rather I just pretend to be super into the comment you left that annoyed me? Or even ignore it, if it annoyed me that much? Nah, you don't want that. If I piss somebody off on the internet, I'd rather they tell me, and preferably in a public forum where we can angrily type at each other until we get all of our feelings out in the open. The internet is a magical place where we can have arguments without fear of fisticuffs or a black eye. I'm not afraid of internet arguments. I embrace them. I'm easily embroiled. Greg thinks this is silly of me, because it always gets me riled up, but whatever. I enjoy it. I enjoy being snarky. I do. If you piss me off in the comments of my blog, it's likely I'll bitch about it on twitter. Go see! Don't be afraid.

I hate children!

And this isn't me saying, "Don't leave annoying comments on my blog." In fact, the opposite. Comment however you like. I won't censor. I won't delete. But I won't censor myself when replying or reacting to what you say. It's an open forum, guys. And if I find your opinion or your tone offensive, I'll probably say so.

I do regret not just taking up my recent issue directly with the commenter, because it would've been more constructive and interesting and not passive-aggressive that way, but we all make mistakes. We're all passive-aggressive at one time or another. I can be a real dick, I know I can. Just... don't be surprised when I am. I'm not perfect, and neither is anybody else. I have strong opinions. I have strong reactions. I'm a drama queen, I exaggerate, I'm easily riled up. These are all facts about me, and probably personality flaws, but this is all me. I'm laying it out. I don't want to gloss over my faults and pretend they don't exist because that would be doing you all a disservice, and it would be creepy and fake. So I don't do it. This is me. I'm not some magically sweet adorable person who loves all things. Sometimes I'm a penis. So there it is.

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