Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Outfit no. 43

Skirt and sweater: F21, shirt: Primark, shoes: thrifted, glasses: Ray-Ban

I've been really, really... well, off for the past several days. I don't know how else to put it. I could say I'm depressed, but people take that to mean different things, and I'm not quite sure that's what it is. I know what depression feels like, and this feels almost more like, just, straight-up sadness. Which is stupid, and there's no way to explain it, and there's no reason to be sad, but I've just been feeling utterly low. 

I drug myself outside to take outfit photos today, just so I'd have something to post here, and only managed to take a few before getting fed up and coming inside. Plus one of the neighbors stood in the parking lot and stared up at me for a while trying to figure out what I was doing up on the third floor balcony, which was nice. I told her to fuck off in a normal voice so I doubt it carried all the way down to her, but she left soon thereafter. Do people not realize they're being rude when they're being rude?

Apparently I'm also easy to anger right now. I'd chalk it up to PMS but it's not anywhere near that time of the month. I hate feeling like this because I don't know what to do about it, and it makes me feel like the entire world is nothing but a reason to feel empty inside. I cried while watching TNG last night, during the stupidest moment where Picard's nephew is sitting outside under a tree, watching the stars. And I've been listening to this stupid book at work, The Fault in Our Stars, which a million people recommended and love, and I hate it. I mean... it's good. It's well-written and engaging and I like the characters. But no way in hell would I ever have read it if I knew what it was about, and now I feel like I've wasted 5 hours of my life, with one to come, since I haven't finished yet. I mean seriously why do people like reading about depressing real-life shit. I may be an escapist, but 100% of the time without fail I'd rather read about people dying in a fantasy battle of unicorns and vampires than read about teenagers dying of cancer. Fuuuuck. It's the most depressing thing ever and I'm really mad that I've somehow been tricked into listening to it. Never again. Nothing but fantasy or sci fi for the rest of my life forever and ever amen.

So I'm sad and I'm reading a sad book and that's about it. When did my blog become a personal journal? Oh well.

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