Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Meet Melancholy Meg



Things are slow here on the blogging end. My wardrobe continues to incite rage in me whenever I attempt to put together an outfit, and yesterday I received yet another rejection from a job I interviewed for. I really need to teach myself not to get my hopes up every time I have an interview; it just feels that much worse when I end up not getting the job.

Excuse me for a bit of melancholy today. I'm a day and a half behind on my lovely anxiety/depression medication, due to the incompetence of Medvantx. Let me tell you guys, if you happen to decide to have your medication mailed to you through Medvantx, don't do it. They are a huge pile of fail.





I'm wearing: Target skirt and shoes, F21 belt, Old Navy tank top, great-grandmother's necklace.


If you're wondering why I would talk about my anxiety and depression on my blog, and why on earth I'd mention that I take medication for such a thing, well... to be honest, I kind of like to get that out of the way when getting to know people (like you, dear readers). I feel like it's a big part of who I am, and I don't mean that in a totally emo way! I've had chronic, mild depression since high school, as far as I can remember, and anxiety for probably my whole life (thanks Mom! ♥). For a long time, the sadness gave me a gift for expression that I don't think I would have been able to tap into were I a happy-go-lucky social butterfly. Some of my best writing was done while in the throes of depression. Not that I miss it, now that I'm on medication and more functional as a human being (and yes, I still get depressed every once in a while). But it does make me less expressive than I used to be. I think that's why so many great artists and writers were depressed, suicidal, alcoholics, or addicts. There's something about sadness and art that go hand in hand. I kind of like it that way. Maybe I'm just crazy, though.

Don't think I'm being emo, here. Greg would say I am, but he's anti-emo and doesn't quite understand or approve of expressive emotions (and that's part of why I love him)! No, I'm just being reflective. It's my silly style blog, after all! I can ignore clothes and talk about emotions for a while if I want to. What do you think? Does self reflection belong somewhere else, on a livejournal or a private paper journal, and not a style blog? I always like it when people are candid about their lives in their blogs. I'd rather not read something that's tailored to be impersonal and advertisement-friendly. I'd rather get to know the person about whose life and style I'm reading, you know? What do you think?

I have nothing to say about today's outfit. Maybe I'll like my clothes again one day, haha.


17 comments:

Nicole said...

I'm sorry you're having a rough time :( If it's any consolation, I've been feeling the same way about my wardrobe and I really like your outfit.
I admire you're ability to share your story so easily. I also deal with anxiety, and was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, and I've only told one close friend since finding out over a year ago. I agree that your blog should be completely you, and I also like when people bring their own lives into their blogs. Hope you're feeling better soon <3

Nicole said...

Hugs!!! I am quite impressed with your ability to share feelings like that, especially to all of the interwebs. Things will get better, I'm sure you know that, but until then... tap into the emotion and create something awesome ;)

~Nicole

Chandler said...

Hey! So glad I found your blog because I'm loving this whole outfit! Goodness you are skinny, jealous!

xoxo
Chandler

Robyn said...

I always appreciate it when people aren't shy about their medications. (unless it is for irritable bowel syndrome... or something.) I know more people in my life who have dealt with anxiety or depression, been on meds, gone to therapy, or damn well should have than not. I applaud your honesty. I also like your outfit and wish you well on your continued job hunt. XO

Chaucee said...

I think it's great that you're sharing a bit more about yourself rather than just talking about clothes all day on the blog. That's what all the rest of the style bloggers do anyways!

Little Monarch said...

go for gold and express all you want. its your blog and putting your personal feelings into it makes it more YOU. This is the first time I've visited but I will be back. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for awhile now too.

p.s. you have great style.

Kelly said...

I love the skirt and that belt!
Its good to be open about depression and anxiety and things. I think the problem is people try to hide these things, instead of coping with them.

<3 Kelly

Caitlyn, Bees with Feathers said...

I totally understand that sometimes everyone can get upset you know? I used to be depressed a lot too, and I agree some of the best artwork (writing) comes from them. THough I much much much prefer to be really happy (: I hope all is well for you and you get back on track with everything <3

Ps. You are always lookin super cute <3!

Ebony said...

Of course it's okay to let our yoru emotions to us :) I'm not just hear to see your outfit... I want to know about you! I hope things look up soon Meg. My dad suffered from severe depression... I want you to know you can always, always talk to me. That, and you look so cute here! I think the glasses are the perfect touch :) What do you do to your bangs to get them so bouncy? I think it may just be the weather but mine have been so flat and bleh lately.

Nikki said...

The skirt and the belt looks lovely :)

Helen said...

Well I think you look fab. Love that belt.

I've suffered from both depression and anxiety at various times in my life. One of the reasons I started my blog was because I couldn't cope after the breakdown of my relationship. If you read back through the archives there's some pretty hard to read stuff. It's your blog, write what you feel! xx

Sara Lynn said...

Meg, I am so sorry that you feel so down, my mom JUST got a job at Buger King of all places, after not having one fro 7 years! I am not saying go apply for BK but I think you will find a great job soon. You have a lot of ambition and even if you don't like your look, you still look awesome and cute. :) I hope you feel better soon lady :)

~Sara

Chloe Trayner said...

It's so refreshing to have someone be truly honest about depression. I know exactly what you mean about sadness and expression and sometimes I feel maybe it's worth the suffering for what you create out of it and sometimes I went it's never worth it. I really like your outfit today and your blog overall. I love the red of the skirt and your glasses. Your hair is cute as well! I hope things start looking up to help pick you up again because I know it's a horrid feeling when everything starts going badly.

Amanda said...

Bleh, job interviews blow. You'll land a lucky one though soon!

You're right it's your blog and you have the right to write whatever you please! Personally, I've always preferred blogs that post about themselves not just "Here's me and my outfit. Kthanksbye"

Debbie said...

I love your outfit, and I love your honesty.. it's something that I sometimes think is missing a lot when it comes to style blogs (mine included... which I'm trying to do better at). Depression is something that runs in my family, so I can relate. And here's to not hating our wardrobes! (I'm a hater too sometimes)

PhotoPuddle said...

Today's outfit is cute - I love red!

Sorry you are having a tough time of it at the moment. I hope things look up for you soon.

And I think blogs are your own personal space to do whatever the hell you want with.

Signe said...

I know where you are coming from, been experiencing something similar in my life but it was just for over a year and then it got better. Can’t believe how exhausting it must be to battle something like that all the time...

Hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you :)

Also, in LOVE with you necklace!