Outfit no. 22

Dress: Amazon (gift from Mom), shoes: c/o Blowfish, cardi: New Look, necklace and hat: H&M, glasses: Ray-Ban.

I just checked out my blog on my PC monitor, and was horrified to find that the colors are totally effed. On my Macbook it looks good, but on my PC it's all weird and greenish and crappy?? Ugh, I'm sorry if my photos are super bad you guys, I hope it's just my monitor and not my Macbook that's wrong! So yeah, if you could let me know if you think the coloring is off on my photos that would rule! If they are gross on other people's monitors I will see what I can do.

A short post today, as I bought some things at Michaels with which to hang our photos on the walls, and to make bunting, so I'm itching to go do that. I was reading someone's blog where they made paper bunting to hang in their apartment, but I can't find it now! So I'm gonna have to go from memory, it seems. I'll let you know if it turns out okay. I know bunting is super trendy right now, but hey... it's cute. And we are so desperate for some decorations! I figured it would be a cheap solution.

Oh and happy Halloween everyone! Hope you have fun plans for the evening. x

Outfit no. 21

Dress, necklace, and jacket: F21; sweater vest: H&M (gift from Mom ages ago); shoes: c/o GoJane, earrings: Primark, glasses: Ray-Ban

Running out of things to wear! You've all seen these shoes far too many times, and I reckon I need a few more tacky, shiny medallion necklaces so you don't get burnt out on this one. Being a style blogger is srs bzns, guys.

Once I get the, count them: seven packages I'm waiting for now, I will have more things to wear! But until then, if they ever get here, I'll be recycling the same things I brought over from London. At least the shopping in the UK is amazing!

I've been having a hard time of it here in Utah. Some days I feel really happy, like everything in life is Great and Wonderful and Fun, and other days I feel as though the world is a pile of ass and nothing could possibly make me happy (aside from Greg hugs, let's be honest). It's so frustrating, because I just want my moods to be consistent at least. I feel like I'm actually going crazy sometimes. If I'm honest I think I'm just really lonely here without any close friends. I have Greg of course, but boyfriends aren't the same as girlfriends and I'm sure you'll agree. I can't just say, "Hey Greg! When you're finished with that game of LoL, wanna go get a latte and wander around Fashion Place Mall?" I mean... I can, but he would stare at me for a moment, blink, and reply, "Do I have to?" He'd probably even go, if I asked, because he knows how lonely I've been. But being Greg he would drag his feet and moan the whole time. Which is fine, of course -- lattes and mall-wandering is for girlfriends! So I'm feeling deprived of most of the things I like to do, which are 1) drink lattes with girls and 2) spend hours wandering around a shopping center.

Luckily there are a few really sweet, awesome girls within Greg's extended friend group, so I dragged a couple of them to sushi with me last Saturday, which was fun. So it's not as though I have no friend prospects. But in London I had Shaun, with whom I had tons of stuff in common (mostly fandom though, let's be honest), and later Lucy, who is basically my writing soulmate. And then my two best friends, Rose and Ashleigh, lived in Portland with me. Now I'm suddenly alone, and it's hard. How do introverted girls make friends in a strange city?

Okay, enough whining! I really am feeling sorry for myself too often. It's hard, and lonely, and different, but it will get better. I just have to remind myself of that whenever I feel particularly low. And, I always have the new year to look forward to! Greg and I are going to adopt a dog once the holidays are over. I seriously can't wait! Dogs make everything better.

Outfit no. 20

Dress: Camden Market, cardi (which you can't really see): H&M, blazer and boots: River Island, necklace: gift from Shaun, glasses: Ray-Ban

I wore pretty much this exact thing to Oktoberfest a few weeks ago. I'm sure the tights were different though. And my necklace. Otherwise, exactly the same. I don't have a rule about not wearing the same outfit twice -- that would be pointless and silly (not that my entire life doesn't revolve around pointless and silly things) -- but I will definitely not post photos of the same outfit twice on my blog. That would be silly! 

Anyway, I love this dress I got at the Camden Market in London. It was near the end of the day and the stalls were all beginning to pack up for the evening, so the guy gave me a discount! It was normally £20 and I got it for £14. A pretty good deal, considering ModCloth used to have (as far as I could tell) the exact same one in red for like a million dollars more. Those markets around London have some pretty cute stuff if you ask me! One of my rings, which I wear every day, I also got from the Camden Market. It's one of my favorite places in London. Good for a nice wander 'round.

Shaun got me this amazing Sherlock Holmes cameo necklace for Christmas last year! I love it so much. Subtle fandomy things are my favorite fandomy things. Although I will really go for any kind of fandomy thing.

It's fitting that everything in my outfit I got in the UK, as I've been feeling super nostalgic about London today. I listened to Florence + the Machine's Ceremonials and Lights's Siberia at work today, both of which came out the month after I moved to London, and I used to listen to them all the time, over and over. I'd wander around rainy Uxbridge and feel ridiculously melancholy, missing Greg and Portland and all my friends. But when I hear those albums now I remember those moments vividly, and I miss them. It wasn't fun feeling so lonely and being so scared in a new country, but it was such a learning experience -- I would never trade it for the world. Here's my favorite song from Siberia, which I'd listen to on repeat all the time! It reminds me of rain, red London buses, Brunel, St Paul's cathedral, vanilla Lattes at Rococo Cafe, urban foxes, ginger nuts, and the London Underground.

I feel like I can probably document all the important stages of my life by albums, artists, or playlists. I know I'm not the only one. What music resonates with particular moments in life for you? What's it like listening to those songs years later, when all the memories come flooding back? I think listening to music that reminds me of vivid moments in time is one of my favorite things to do. But it makes me melancholy. Not that that's a bad thing.

Outfit no. 19

Dress: New Look, cardi and necklace: Primark, shoes: c/o GoJane, glasses: Ray-Ban

I'm reaching the point where I'm utterly tired of my entire wardrobe. It's so frustrating. We've all been there, right? You have tons of clothes and you want nothing to do with any of it. Well, I tried to ~mix it up~ by wearing a dress that I usually reserve for special occasions (Christmas parties, book launches at the Groucho Club, Patrick Wolf concerts, etc.). I think it worked quite well! There's a super smexy cut-out criss-cross thingy going on in the back, but you can't see it because 1) it's cold, and 2) it's cold. There will be no cardi-removal on chilly afternoons.

The weather, I'm sorry to talk about it so much, but the weather is amazing in SLC right now. Amazing. I love my wet winters (holla Portland and London), but nothing beats a cold, crisp, dry autumn morning in my opinion. There was frost on the grass and trees until late morning, and the mountains are all dusted with snow. It makes me happy to be living somewhere with proper seasons again! Still, if I had my way, I'd always choose London weather over any other type.

Which reminds me, I was thinking the other day about British people and how they're always so downcast. A self-deprecating, grumpy, pessimistic lot, the British. And I thought: maybe they all have Seasonal Affective Disorder year 'round?? It makes sense! People in Seattle get all suicidal in the winter but they take vitamin D pills to fix it. Brits like to make fun of Americans for taking too many pills, but Brits! Look at yourselves! You're a dreary, moany lot of pale people on a foggy island. Take vitamin D! It will cheer you right up.

Seriously though I would love nothing more than to be just as rain-soaked and gloomy as the British. I hope, if you live in the UK and are reading this, that you realize how luck you are. You live in a magical world of fairies and hobbits AND I AM JEALOUS.

Okay, question: does anyone own the Vance by Blowfish? I'm thinking I'll probably buy a pair next paycheck, as they tick all my boxes for an everyday pair of black ankle boots for winter, but I just want to make sure they're comfy/easy to wear/cool/etc before I drop $70 on them. I know Blowfish fits me quite well and I love their shoes in general but I hate spending more than $30 on anything, so I'm hesitant!

Well that's all for me folks, have a wonderful weekend! Hopefully I will have pics of my badass Halloween costume to share next week! x

Thursday Ramblings

My mom motivated me to blog today. Considering there's nothing exciting happening with my outfit (black skirt, warm jumper, the end), I was gonna just sip hot cider and online window shop all afternoon. But my mom texted me to say she looks forward to my blog post every day around this time, so I couldn't let her down!! Unfortunately it's just gonna be a ho-hum "life lately" post, so... yeah.

Speaking of my mom, she is coming to visit next month! I'm SOOOO excited to show her our place, and introduce her to Salt Lake City. Admittedly I myself need to be introduced to the city... but we can discover it together, at least! I haven't seen my mom in over a year, when she dropped me off in England last September. Has it really been that long? I can't believe it. I don't know what I'd have done without my mom there to help me settle into London life. I suppose I would have survived, but I can't imagine how.

As you can see we have not decorated our apartment much. Bare walls for the most part, although I did hang up some Doctor Who pictures by my side of the bed, my Loki poster, my men of Dragon Age pin-up calendar (it's as awesome as it sounds), and my map of Westeros. Our office is basically devoid of anything but our computers and a comfy chair though. I need to get some thumbtacks and nails, so I can hang up the rest of our stuff, but I keep putting it off.

Wow I bet you guys are really engaged in this topic! Shut up Meg. Okay I really have nothing much to say today, I'm sorry. It snowed this morning but it's sunny and dry now, boo. I wish it would snow ten feet so I could have a snow day!

The end. x

Outfit no. 18

Skirt: H&M, shirt and necklace: F21, jumper: New Look, shoes: c/o Blowfish, glasses: Ray-Ban

It turns out my necklace was borked for most of these photos. Oh well! Here's a taste of my REAL LIFE: my necklaces are catawampus like 90% of the time.

So this outfit was really good in theory, but as it so happens, the skirt is Clingy As Hell and I couldn't walk in it without sort of going bow-legged and stompy. The shoes did not help. I'm surprised nobody asked if I was holding in a large BM all day (that's short for bowel movement, in grandma-lingo). Seriously though I don't know what possessed me to wear this skirt?? I totally forgot it was so dreadful. It's going in the bin this very instant. As soon as I finish writing. It's GONE.

I'm waiting for about a zillion new bits in the mail (okay just 2 skirts and a pair of shoes), and it's eating me aliiiive. Where is the mailman? Has the mail come today? What if there's a package waiting for me at the office and they forgot to leave a slip in the mailbox and I'll never know it's there? Oh god the stress of waiting for mail! I wish it would all just arrive already. Not least because I have about one skirt that I actually like, and the rest are complete rubbish. New skirts, where are you?

Last night Greg and I went out for Thai at Sawadee, a restaurant I found by googling "salt lake restaurants avenues" because I think the Avenues is a cool neighborhood and I was aching for a nice dinner date. It turned out to be super delicious, and I just finished my massaman curry leftovers for lunch. SO GOOD. I missed proper Thai; they don't have a lot of Thai places in London! I'm sure they have proper Thai places there but I didn't go to any, therefore I missed it. Lots of good Indian in London though!

Anyway I'm nearly 90 and then it's time to heal my little heart out so off I go to Pandaria!

Outfit no. 17

Everything: Primark, socks: UO, shoes: Isaac Mizrahi for Target, glasses: Ray-Ban, necklace: Topshop.

This is my "oh god it's so cold and what the hell am I even wearing" face. We were told to dress in business casual this week at work, as the CEO and other such people are hovering about in the office, but I am not what you would call familiar with the term "business casual." I have been asked to wear it before and I probably just wore a dress and called it good (aka I didn't do anything differently). According to today's outfit however, it seems I took "business casual" to mean "granny on crack," and not in a good way.

Sigh, oh well. We all make fashion mistakes. Remind me never to wear these shoes again; they hurt like hell and they go with nothing. NOTHING I SAY. Neither does this skirt, incidentally. Except for solid colors and neon. That's all I can work out for this skirt. And this shirt goes with nothing either, so naturally I put them all together?? :|

And wow, it is proper cold outside! I'm loving it! I just wish we were allowed to wear hats in the office. I get so cold at work! Is it a requirement of every office building to have the AC on year 'round? It makes no sense and it hinders my productivity. Not really but. It's dumb sitting at my desk with my winter coat, a scarf, and gloves on.

My priest is level 89 and I'm well excited to start healing heroics! I haven't really healed at all this expansion, so there will be a bit of a learning curve I expect. Cataclysm totally changed the nature of holy priest heals, but I don't think this one is quite as drastic. Still, excited to learn the new rotation, and become a leet healer as per! It's my favorite thing to do in any game -- DPS is so boring, and tanking is the hardest. If you don't play MMOs I'm sorry this paragraph is the worst and you probably don't understand it. Just know that it's really boring.

Loving the new Shiny Toy Guns album! If you haven't heard it, really you ought. There's one song on there that I can't stand, because it sounds like '80s easy listening and not in a good way, but the rest are ace! Here's one of them!

I love it so much! If you like sort of electronic/pop music you will likely enjoy this album, so check it out. So many good albums have come out this fall! Anyone know if the new Muse one is out yet? x

Drinks & Dresses*

Happy Monday, everyone! No outfit post today, as I chose to watch the new BBC version of Sense & Sensibility last night with Greg instead of washing my hair, and nobody needs to see the greasy Snape 'do I've got going on at the moment. 

So I thought instead I'd bust out this post I've been planning instead! House of Fraser contacted me and wanted to know if I'd do a post about their dress collection, and after having a lookie loo at their collection I had to say yes. They have some super cute pieces there, and while not everything in the collection is really my style, I found a few that I really loved! As I've not been able to wear the dresses and give them proper reviews, I thought it would be fun to pair each dress with a fun cocktail! So in my fantasies, I'm wearing these dresses and drinking the following cocktails. With recipes, hurray!

I thought this geometric print dress by Vero Moda had to be a Moscow Mule. I had my first Moscow Mule at the The Bar (next to Bare Bones Cafe) on SE Belmont in Portland,  and it was love at first sip. This drink gives me a sort of 1940s/'50s America vibe, not surprisingly as it was invented on the East Coast in 1941, so I felt this dress jived quite well. Now I want a Moscow Mule, they're incredible! Here's how to make one:

Moscow Mule
- 1 half lime
- 2 oz vodka
- 4-6 oz ginger beer

Squeeze lime into Collins glass (or copper mug) and drop in half lime. Add 2 or 3 large ice cubes, then pour in the vodka and fill with cold ginger beer. Serve with a stirring rod. (via)

YOU GUYS, look at this pug print dress by Therapy! I want it so badlyyyy. But until I can chuck a bunch of British pounds across the Pond, I shall simply drink a hot toddy by the fire (aka the TV, which is in front of our fireplace because we have priorities), and dream of pugs and pug dresses. I mentioned hot toddies in one of my posts last week, and seriously we need to all make some and enjoy the season the way it's meant to be enjoyed -- with whiskey.

Hot Toddy
- 1 tsp honey
- 2 oz boiling water (can substitute for tea if you want!)
- 1.5 oz whiskey
- 3 whole cloves
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 1 slice lemon
- 1 pinch ground nutmeg

Pour the honey, boiling water, and whiskey into a mug. Spice it with the cloves and cinnamon, and put in the slice of lemon. Let the mixture stand for 5 minutes so the flavors can mingle, then sprinkle with a pinch of nutmeg before serving. (via)

Last but far from least, this zig zag dress by Yumi. It's my favorite of the three, super fun and slightly ridiculous... and I want to wear it in space. Natural train of thought: the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. If you've read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy you know exactly what I'm talking about, and you have probably even made one of these. If you've no idea what I'm on about, according to Douglas Adams, the Pan-Galactice Gargle Blaster is "like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped 'round a large gold brick." Seems legit. But considering it's a fictional space cocktail, it's difficult for us Earth dwellers to create our own Gargle Blaster to the last detail. Still, we can do our best! There are countless recipes floating out there on the internet, but I thought this one from Knuckle Salad was the best and most insane:

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
- 1 tiny bottle of vodka
- .5 oz blue curaçao
- 1.5 oz gin, chilled
- lemon-lime soda
- .5 tsp mint extract
- 1 lemon-lime Airborne tablet
- edible gold glitter
- olive

Right, since this is a really fun recipe, and obviously the author put a lot of effort into the directions, I'm not gonna copy it all word for word, but will instead send you to the original post. (Check out the Sonic Screwdriver recipe in that post as well!) And really... drink very... slowly...

You can check out these dresses, sans cocktails, at the House of Fraser dress collection. x

*This post is sponsored by House of Fraser

Outfit no. 16

Dress: eBay, cardi: Primark, scarf: Buffalo Exchange, shoes: ASOS, necklace: River Island (gift), earrings: H&M, glasses: Ray-Ban

I have that stupid song "Some Nights" by Fun. stuck in my head. Every bloody time I turn on the radio, it's on! I can't escape it! And can somebody please tell me what it's about anyway? Him lying in bed feeling shitty and then gazing into his nephew's eyes... and God? I don't understand and it gets stuck in my head and I am just so annoyed by you, Fun. Why is there a period after the band's name, also. It creates a confusing grammar milieu. :'(

I feel a bit too twee in this outfit, which is silly as it isn't that twee. It's still more in line with what I would have worn a year ago before I moved to London, and I'm not quite as comfortable in that Portland hipster style anymore. There's something about girls' styles in London that's a bit more grungy, a bit punk and a bit darker, and I'm completely obsessed with it. I'm totally over all things cute and adorable. No thanks, ModCloth; I don't want to bake cupcakes while wearing a flirty frock and watching New Girl. I will watch New Girl in some other kind of frock, thanks. I mean I love the look of the whole vintage/girly thing that so many style bloggers do, it's quite pretty! But I don't think it's me anymore, if it ever was.

Aaand so I guess I need to replace all my Zooey-esque dresses with something more ~dark~ and ~edgy~. I hate the word edgy and I don't know why I just used it.

It's Friday! And Greg and I are going to Ikea tomorrow to FINALLY get some furnishings and decorations for our gigantic apartment! Well excited! I can't wait to get our apartment all cozy at last so I can take photos for my mom (as I know she is so curious to see our apartment, right mom??). x

And lastly, this facial expression happens when young children are playing with their skateboards REALLY LOUDLY just below the balcony (I really hate kids):

Outfit no. 15

Cardi and belt: New Look, dress: c/o Fashion Culprit, tights: Target (gift), necklace: Topshop, shoes: ASOS, hat: H&M, glasses: Ray-Ban

The moment I saw this oversized cardi in New Look last winter, I knew it was to be mine! I didn't buy it the first time I saw it, but right before heading up to Edinburgh for Christmas I popped in and picked this up, as well as another woolly jumper for extra holiday warmth. I ended up wearing this cardi basically the whole time I was in Edinburgh, and it kept me cozy and happy! (See my posts about Edinburgh here and here, if you're so inclined.) Now when it's particularly cold I automatically crawl into this cardi, or the one from Lewes (yes I'm linking to a bunch of my old posts, in the vain hope that people will be interested to see posts from my UK adventures). Thick warm jumpers are the best.

I just got this dress in the mail from Fashion Culprit, who were generous enough to send it to me! I really love the sheer sleeves it's got going on, but I wish the attached slip were longer -- see how terrifyingly short it is?? Epic thigh revealage. Even so, it's pretty much a staple LBD and I've been needing one of those for ages. I do wish their site had more items for sale. It seems rather new, and the shirt I originally wanted sold out before they were able to send it. I'm excited to see what new items for fall show up there in the coming months, though!

I'm starting to get a few PR emails here and there about blog collaborations with companies, and I feel like I want to discuss that here a little bit. I definitely want to be open and honest about what items I receive from sponsors, and what (if any) content in my blog is sponsored. I'm actually going to be doing a sponsored blog post for a company pretty soon here, and I'm curious to know everyone's thoughts on that sort of thing. Personally I think it's awesome that I'm being compensated for my work, because I do spend hours putting posts together, commenting on other blogs, promoting myself, etc. If you're a blogger, you know it takes a lot of effort! So I'm super excited to feel like I'm being compensated, even in a small way, for the love and work I put into my blog. I never had a problem with the idea of "selling out," and I'm not worried that I'll lose my voice if I start working with companies more and more. But I don't want to piss you guys off, since up until now I never had any c/o items (except the shoes I got from Blowfish for writing for their blog last year), and I never made any effort to court companies who could give me free stuff. 

ANYWAY I guess I just wanna be super up front about it all! If everyone is like "I HATE YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS" I'll probably continue to do it, because like I said, this blog is like another part-time job almost. It drains a lot of my time! And I enjoy being paid to work. So there's that.

But enough serious talk! You guys, it's Hallow's End on WoW! Spooky fun for all! WELL excited to go do some holiday quests. I have yet to get the Hallowed title, so I think it's time this year! x

Outfit no. 14

  Dress and jacket: F21, hat: H&M, shoes: c/o GoJane, socks: UO, necklace: market stall in Florence, glasses: Ray-Ban

It's finally getting cold here in Salt Lake City! I think I'm well under-dressed; I nearly froze to death while taking my photos today. My fingers are so icy right now that I'm having a very difficult time typing. At least I have an excuse to make hot cocoa now! Not that I ever needed an excuse. Any time is hot cocoa time.

I originally bought this jacket because it reminded me of Jenna-Louise Coleman's in this photo of her as the new companion. Okay it's not even that similar but I just wanted a utility jacket to wear with cute dresses and cardigans! And I wanted to feel like a companion. I still have dreams about traveling with the Doctor, which is ridiculous, but enjoyable while I'm asleep. One time I drank too much wine and fell asleep while watching Doctor Who, and when Greg came home from work I woke up and said (according to Greg; I remember none of this), "Hi Doctor!" and then proceeded to call everything Doctor. I drunkenly called my phone and my teeth Doctor ("Wait, I need to brush my Doctor..."). This is simultaneously one of the best and worst stories about me ever.

So you guys, have you ever had a hot toddy? I'm suuuuper into them! I kind of regret not getting a tiny hot toddy instead of a shot of whiskey with my free drink voucher when Shaun and I visited Bushmills Distillery in Northern Ireland. This weekend I'm hoping to make them for Greg and I, even though he doesn't really drink, and will probably not even try them, but HEY it's something cozy to do for fall. Plus my favorite band, Jethro Tull, sings about hot toddies in their song "Fire at Midnight" (technically it's a "golden toddy" but whatever)! Dumb fact: one time I recorded a cover of this song. It was just me singing, and a backing track on my harp. I am the woooorst singer and I have no idea why I thought I needed to do this. Thank god I lost the track when my old Dell killed itself years ago. Now nobody can blackmail me with it.

Lastly, I've been meaning to share this amazing video here on my blog because I need to know how much everyone else loves it! If you're a Game of Thrones fan you've probably already seen it, but every time I hear Maroon 5's "Payphone" on the radio I sing these lyrics over Adam Levine. I am horrible... y awesome.

ISN'T IT THE BEST? You guys I can't wait til the spring when we get more Game of Thrones action! It's my favorite show right now and I'm still grieving the end of season 2. And before you ask, no I haven't read all the books. I know, I'm a terrible geek, but I was never really bothered until the show came out, and now I love the show so much that I'm a bit worried the books will spoil it. And also I'm just really lazy and don't have time for a billion long books that are not even finished and seem to get worse as they go (according to the internet?). Plus GRRM doesn't write as well as Patrick Rothfuss, JUST SAYIN'.

Outfit no. 13

Jumper: New Look, jacket: F21 (via eBay), shorts and necklace: F21, glasses: Ray-Ban, boots (in later pic): River Island

I got this jumper in Lewes, when Shaun and I got super stir-crazy from being in London all winter and took a day trip to look at antique stores and get rained on. I didn't dress properly (when did I ever during that entire year; is it possible to dress properly in London?) and nearly froze to death, so I had to pop into New Look and buy the first warm-looking jumper that caught my eye. This was it. It clashed horribly with my red tartan dress, but I was warm! The rest of the trip was mostly spent trying to get rid of two creepers in a pub during a torrential downpour, but if everything had gone swimmingly, well it just wouldn't have been as fun. I'll never forget breaking down into fits of laughter at the train station with Shaun after all the trauma of our day!

I didn't end up liking any of the standing full-body pics I took. I could make up some reason why, or not say anything, but that would be dumb. I didn't post any full-body pics because I feel like I look fat in them. My legs and hips, more precisely. "OMG MEG YOU ARE NOT FAT" says everyone, since that's what people say when you claim you look fat. Let's just put this out there right now: I feel gross and lumpy sometimes in my own skin. That's just how it is. I'm not fishing for compliments. You know you feel that way too. I guarantee every blogger has had a moment (or two or five million) where they look at all of their outfit photos and go, "Motherfucker I look disgusting. What the hell am I gonna blog about now."

Well that's what happened to me today! I felt fine walking around all day in this outfit, and I thought I looked pretty swell when I caught my reflection in mirrored windows (raise your hand if you check yourself out in mirrors and windows at every opportunity), but the photos were just... not my favorite. I just have a complex about my butt, and my thick thighs, and my short legs. There it is! I don't want you to see pics that I myself can't bear.

It makes me wonder what other bloggers are insecure about. Sometimes I go to fashion blogs, and this is really weird and kind of creepy? But I go to blogs and try to find posts where the blogger talks about an insecurity, particularly about their body. Not because I want to gloat! But because I want to relate. I want to know that we're all suffering together, in our own stupid vanity and insecurity. How amazing is it to find out that a blogger who you think is absolutely perfect has a pot belly she's been hiding under those A-line dresses? I want to hug every pot-bellied girl in the world! And be like, "I have one too! And doughy thighs!" It's not about laughing at or judging someone, it's about feeling like we're all human together. So when I see a girl about my size, looking adorable, it makes me feel better. And if she says something like, "ARGH I HATE MY STUPID SHORT STUBBY LEGS" then it makes me relax a bit and feel as though I'm not alone. Am I the only creeper who does this?

Anyway, tangent. I just want to be as real as I possibly can on this blog, and I guess I'm putting it out here right now, there are a LOT of super unflattering photos of myself that I don't ever post, because I feel I look fat in them probably. Usually of my arms or thighs. Thus the dearth of photos today! So... do with that what you will.

In other newwws, I got to do a drug test today for work! I peed in a little container. It was super embarrassing though because I couldn't pee enough the first time so I had to sit around in the waiting room and guzzle water from the drinking fountain (btw drinking fountains basically don't exist in the UK, they want their citizens to die of dehydration) until I could pee again. When I went back out and sat down after having a good long drink, all the people in the waiting room... they knew. They knew I had been unable to perform! So much shame.